I Will End My 10-Year Unrequited Love

1. The End & The Beginning

I spent exactly 10 years in unrequited love. I could say that those 10 years of my life were entirely his.

With my vision blurring, time passed quickly, moments I couldn’t even remember slipping away. I felt a tightness in my chest as the poisoned arrow pierced my heart.

“I regret it…”

I regret meeting you that day. I regret loving you with all my youth. Slowly, I closed my eyes, remembering those times.

The times that had been filled with love. At least for me.

* * *

It was the spring when Elia Reiffers was celebrating her eighth birthday.

Due to the early monsoon, heavy rain had poured relentlessly for days. Even the grand central garden of Duke Reiffers’s estate, the most magnificent in the empire, had begun to wilt.

“Nanny, when did Father go to the palace?”

“Master? Hmm, it’s been just over three days.”

With the gloomy weather all day, Elia’s face appeared downcast.

“When will this rain ever stop? When Father comes back, I won’t even be able to go to the square.”

“The square? Ah, is it because of what Madam said?”

Nanny Denia finally understood Elia’s words and let out a quiet laugh. It seemed Elia still remembered a passing remark her mother, Duchess Estine Reiffers, had made at the end of last year.

“Yes. This time, Father promised to take me to the spring festival at the square.”

Elia, anxious, started fidgeting her little feet. No wonder, since if her father, Duke Reiffers, returned now, the festival, and even going out, would be out of the question.

“Even if the weather clears, it would have been difficult to go to the square. There won’t be a spring festival this year.”

Nanny Denia answered after carefully seating Elia on her lap. Elia blinked her pale green eyes wide and asked again.

“Why? The festival is held every spring.”

Denia’s face became awkward at the innocent child’s question. She hesitated, unsure of how to explain to the young lady who knew so little.

“Well… that’s… “

Denia hesitated before speaking softly.

“The Empress has committed a great sin and must be punished. Your father is at the palace because of that matter.”

It had already been several days since Duke Reiffers had left the estate regarding the Empress’s dethronement. From what the maids were carelessly gossiping, it seemed that the Reiffers family, along with other noble families, were at the heart of the matter.

“Huh? The Empress? What sin did she commit?”

Elia tilted her head in confusion. It seemed that the unexpected question had flustered Denia.

“That… you’ll understand when you grow up, Miss.”

In fact, even Denia, who was already an adult, didn’t know what kind of crime the Empress had committed to be deposed. She only knew that the Empress’s family, Count Hestia family, had fallen, and that the heads of the family were being displayed in the square.

“I see…”

Although Elia’s face was downcast, it seemed she eventually accepted Denia’s explanation. Denia, feeling pity for Elia who wasn’t complaining, lowered her voice and whispered softly.

“I’ll show you the big window on the 4th-floor balcony. But we must keep it a secret from the Master and Madam, and you can only look for thirty minutes, as it’s almost time for dinner.”

Denia thought of the large window on the 4th-floor balcony, which was usually covered by dark curtains. Normally, Elia wouldn’t even be allowed near it, but since Duke Reiffers was away on imperial matters, Denia figured a brief moment wouldn’t hurt.

“…Really?”

Elia seemed delighted by the secret offer, and a bright smile blossomed on her chubby cheeks for the first time in a while.

* * *

At the end of the 4th-floor hallway, where the estate’s servants stayed, there was a balcony that led outside. When they opened the large window and stepped onto the balcony, the entire outer area of the Duke’s estate, from the front gate to the inner gate, was clearly visible.

However, according to the Reiffers family’s rules, no one was supposed to see inside from the outside, so the window was always tightly shut with dark curtains.

Denia, knowing the rules, thought that as long as the Duke was absent, it would be fine to break the rules for a brief moment.

“Ugh!”

Carefully lifting the curtain, Denia revealed a bright, dazzling light that poured in from the window. The light shone brighter than any chandelier that lit up the estate.

“Wow—!”

Elia placed her hand on the glass and marveled at the view. Beyond the fog, an endlessly vast and grand world unfolded before her. Raindrops splashed into view, full of life and energy.

“Have you ever been outside, Nanny?”

Elia gazed at the balcony beyond the window and muttered with curiosity.

Though Elia was eight years old now, she had rarely ventured beyond the Duke’s estate. Most noble young ladies before their debut were like Elia, confined to small rooms, growing up thinking that was the entirety of the world.

“It’s cold outside because of the rain. I’ll bring you a coat, so stay still. I’ll be back soon.”

Instead of answering, Denia gently patted Elia’s small shoulder. She checked to make sure the window’s latch was securely locked before turning back inside the room.