If You Leave Without a Word - Chapter 105
‧₊˚ ☁️⋅♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ☾.
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“Good morning, Madam!”
Liana’s energetic voice pulled Agatha out of her thoughts.
Although her eyes were open, Agatha remained lying in bed, unable to muster the strength to move even a finger. It might have been due to the disturbing dreams she’d had all night or perhaps the wounds in her heart.
“Are you not feeling well? Your complexion looks…”
“No, I’m fine.”
Agatha, who should have been getting up with a bright face and shining eyes, lay slumped in bed, causing concern for Liana. Her unexpected behavior made Liana tilt her head in confusion.
As she drew the curtains, sunlight poured in through the large window.
Blinded by the sudden brightness, Agatha frowned.
Liana opened the window wide, letting the dust that had settled in the room overnight escape. The faint scent of the scented candle surrounding her dissipated with the cold breeze.
It was a candle Cain had given her four years ago, meant to help her sleep. If only she could shed her feelings for him as easily. The fading scent made Agatha sigh with unspoken regret.
“Happy early birthday, Madam. A grand party is planned.”
The cold wind started to clear her muddled thoughts.
Her birthday. Coincidentally, it was around the corner.
Her birthday. The day she was born. A day to celebrate and commemorate being born. But Agatha didn’t want to do anything. She couldn’t even tell if her life was significant enough to warrant a celebration.
“What kind of splendid gift do you think His Excellency has prepared this year? I’m eagerly anticipating it.”
No, Liana. It’s pointless to get your hopes up. Agatha thought to herself.
“What do you plan to ask His Excellency for this birthday? Even while being far apart, he always made sure to celebrate your birthday, didn’t he? Well, last year was exceptionally busy.”
A hollow laugh escaped her.
Cain had showered her with material wealth as the price for their loveless marriage. But that wasn’t what Agatha wanted.
“As for the gift, since you’re not interested in adornments… How about asking for a wish as a birthday present?”
“Of course. I’ll do that.”
“Huh?”
Agatha had no desire for birthday wishes from him. And as for gifts, she wanted them even less. She didn’t want to see him deluding himself into thinking that handing over a few coins after committing immorality and adultery was fulfilling his duties as a husband.
Even after Agatha had gotten up, dressed, and finished a light breakfast, Cain had not shown up. She occasionally wondered if her month with him in Arta had been a dream.
“His Excellency is not here.”
It was familiar. Since his involvement with the gypsy woman, he had never shared breakfast with Agatha, nor did he join her for meals unless it was an official occasion.
To be disappointed, one must first have expectations. Agatha had none left for Cain. Therefore, she didn’t feel disappointed or sad about his absence at breakfast.
If not for Liana’s incessant chatter, she might have finished her meal in peace.
Agatha placed the napkin that had been on her lap on the table and got up.
“…I didn’t expect him to miss the meal today too.”
Agatha, who had been slighted even on the eve of her birthday, saw Liana looking even more disheartened.
After returning to the capital, Cain had been strangely distant, avoiding spending time with Agatha, but Liana had naively believed it was due to their long separation.
As Agatha’s birthday approached, she thought their estrangement would naturally heal.
“Still, the party will be grand. At least the birthday will be prepared to the highest standard. The Marquis has given specific instructions to ensure that.”
“…What does that mean?”
“Huh? What did you say?”
“Nothing. Never mind.”
They prepared lavishly for appearances while neglecting their everyday life together. In other words, their marriage was just a facade. A laugh escaped her.
The month spent together in Artia—sharing sweet words, exchanging warmth, and falling asleep together—seemed like a fantasy. Perhaps those thirty nights were merely an illusion, or just a spontaneous flame swept up in the moment.
She would fulfill her responsibilities and duties as a wife, but for everything else, they each handled their personal matters without interference. Since their marriage was not one based on love, this outcome was perhaps inevitable.
Was it her fault for briefly forgetting this inevitable reality? Facing a reality that was hard to accept, Agatha eventually began blaming herself.
Even if she had been swept up by the moment and shared her body and warmth, he remained a distant, paper-bound husband. Why had she forgotten this and held onto futile hopes? Even though she knew not to place undue expectations on people, why had she rashly assumed Cain would be different?
It was painful self-reproach that served no purpose now.
Agatha forced herself to swallow the regret and tears.
