If You Leave Without a Word - Chapter 162
‧₊˚ ☁️⋅♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ☾.
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Agatha hadn’t said much about her married life, but it was easy to infer from the darkening of her face whenever Cain’s name was mentioned that her marriage had not been a happy one.
The woman, who had broken free from the shackles that had bound her, now found herself caught by something she hadn’t anticipated.
Could the child growing in her womb truly be a blessing? The only one who could answer that question was Agatha herself. Of course, Karon and Rubens would unconditionally trust and support whatever decision she made.
For now, it was reassuring to know that she could stay hidden here until she gathered her thoughts and made a decision.
“…Karon, Rubens.”
After a long time, Agatha finally spoke. The two older knights quickly bowed their heads in response.
“Yes, Your Grace.”
“If I must leave here, where would be the safest place to go?”
“What do you mean, leave here?”
“Could it be… because of Esther?”
The perceptive Karon stopped Rubens and asked. He had suspected for a while that Agatha might feel uneasy about being with Cain’s sister.
However, since Esther had been taking such great care of Agatha day and night, he had refrained from commenting, waiting to see how things would unfold.
Agatha quietly placed her hand on her belly. Following her movement, the two men’s gazes were drawn downward.
⚜ ⚜ ⚜
Having packed only the bare essentials for water and expenses, Cain immediately mounted his horse.
It was approximately a month to Arta, but if he traveled quickly without taking breaks, he calculated that he could cover half of that time. Although he would wear himself out without rest or sleep, it wasn’t a concern for him.
The memories of traveling for days without sleep and marching across battlefields made him move without hesitation.
It had been over a month since Agatha left without a word. He had searched everywhere but had found no trace of her. Now, he had finally discovered a lead, and there was no time to waste.
He tied the pouch containing his supplies and water flask to the saddle, making sure it was secure before urging his horse forward.
“Hyah!”
With a loud command, the horse took off.
His steed was an elite warhorse. No other horse in the empire could match its speed. As Cain sped off, the knights who followed quickly mounted their horses, but they couldn’t catch up to the widening gap.
They passed the capital’s boundaries and entered the road leading west. The route Cain chose was not the regular thoroughfare used by most of the empire’s citizens, but rather an emergency route that had been prepared for wartime.
Unlike the regular smooth road, the emergency route was rough, making it difficult for regular carts to travel. It was a path that only knights with special permission could use.
Despite the rough terrain, this was the quickest shortcut to Arta. The knights guarding the entrance to the path saw him and, upon recognizing him as Marquis Vernat, quickly cleared the way.
Cain’s horse soon left the capital behind.
As he departed the command headquarters, the daylight that had been bright earlier began to fade, and soon darkness engulfed the path. As Cain sped down the endless night road, he kept revisiting the contents of Esther’s letter in his mind.
Perhaps Agatha might be pregnant.
Perhaps pregnant?
Perhaps…?
The moment he had discovered the hidden writing, his mind immediately flashed back to that night before.
It had been a night where he hid behind the cowardly excuse of alcohol, constantly desiring her. He didn’t even know how many times he had held her until dawn. He had embraced her so recklessly, without thinking this would happen, and now he found himself incredibly foolish for not having considered the consequences.
Did she leave him because of that? Did he break her trust and replace it with anger and scars?
Thinking about her—having lost all faith, feeling empty and full of hurt—felt like a wound cut open by a sword.
He wondered whether she couldn’t accept the fact that she was carrying his child or whether the child, created by that dreadful night, was too much for her to bear. Had it reached a point where she could no longer be with him?
The more he thought, the deeper the despair became. Even if he reached Arta and saw her, he wouldn’t know what words to say to beg for forgiveness.
All he could think about was seeing her again, confirming with his own eyes that she was safe, and atoning for his wrongs. That was the only thought that remained in his mind.
While he swallowed tears of regret, his horse continued to do its job silently. With the moonlight guiding him forward, Cain moved step by step, leaving regret behind with every stride.
Though the headache that had once clouded his thoughts when he opened his eyes no longer hindered him, a small spark of hope quietly rose within the despair and sighs consuming his heart.
Ironically, the thought that he would soon meet Agatha filled him with both guilt and anticipation.
He was disgusted by himself for feeling hopeful about seeing someone he had hurt and driven away. As a surge of nausea hit him.
Cain swallowed dryly.
Has there ever been a time when he had despised himself more than this moment?
