If You Leave Without a Word - Chapter 76
‧₊˚ ☁️⋅♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ☾.
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It was deep into the night, hours later, when Agatha finally awoke.
Her body felt unusually refreshed, although the remnants of the medication left her mind hazy. Her limbs, previously heavy like waterlogged sponges, now felt lighter.
“Hu…”
Agatha exhaled deeply while still lying down.
She had often resorted to medication to escape nightmares, especially on physically exhausting days. The pills ensured she could sleep deeply, without dreams and sunk into darkness for the night.
She avoided using them frequently due to potential side effects, but on strenuous days like today, the help of the medication was necessary.
She closed her eyes and took her breath slowly. Perhaps it was a side effect, but whenever she took the medicine in the evening and slept through the night, she would wake up fine the next morning.
However, occasionally, if she woke up too early, the effects of the medicine hadn’t worn off, leaving her drowsy for a while.
As she lay there, trying to steady her breath, she suddenly remembered what happened before falling asleep. She had been immersed in hot water, had received a massage from Lindsey, and taken the medication that Liana had brought… Agatha’s eyes snapped open.
“Where am I…?”
She was sure she had been in the bath just before.
Her vision was blurry. There seemed to be a faint light somewhere, but it was difficult to see clearly just after waking up from a deep sleep.
After blinking a few times, her surroundings gradually became more visible.
This wasn’t the manor in the capital; clearly, this wasn’t her bedroom either.
This was… Cain’s tent.
“Are you awake?”
Just as she thought of Cain, his voice came from nearby. Agatha, still lying down, froze and couldn’t bring herself to look in the direction of the sound.
“Yes, yes…”
When had she gotten out of the bath? Was she dressed? She groped around with her hands and felt soft pajamas on her body. Thank goodness she wasn’t undressed.
“You’re properly dressed. No need to worry,” Cain’s voice carried a hint of amusement.
Even in the darkness, Agatha knew her face must be flushed with embarrassment.
“When did this happen?”
“You were sleeping so deeply I couldn’t wake you. The maids dressed you.”
Agatha slowly turned her head and saw Cain sitting at a desk by the light of a single candle. Unlike his daytime appearance, he was now dressed in comfortable nightwear.
“What are you doing up at this hour?”
Even though it was late, Cain was poring over documents at the table in his robe. He was in an uncomfortable-looking position.
“I have some documents to review.”
“Are you sitting up there because of me? I’m sorry, sir.”
As Agatha tried to get up, she felt dizzy and swayed. Cain immediately set aside his work and rushed over.
“What’s wrong? Are you feeling unwell?”
“It’s just the effects of the medicine.”
She quickly said, then clamped her mouth shut. Taking sleeping pills wasn’t necessarily something to hide, but she didn’t want to cause unnecessary concern. There was no need for Cain to worry about it.
“I heard you take sleeping pills occasionally.”
“…Yes, only occasionally, not often…”
Had Liana told him? Cain already knew she was taking sleeping pills. Now that he knew, she couldn’t deny it.
Agatha sighed and lay back down as Cain led her.
“When did you start taking them?”
“Not long ago.”
“When exactly?”
“About…two years ago, around the time Sir left the capital.”
When her nightmares became frequent and sleep was difficult, Liana had called a doctor who prescribed the pills. Cain had also given her scented candles to light at her bedside, helping her to sleep deeply without any dreams. This medication had unexpectedly continued for over two years.
“…Do you find falling asleep frightening?”
“What do you mean?”
“I’ve seen knights who return from battle struggle with nightmares and seek out sleeping aids. They dread sleep because they keep reliving battles in their dreams.”
Cain brushed Agatha’s hair aside as she lay on her side. The warmth from his large hand brought her a sense of comfort and she sighed in relief.
“Sir, are you alright?”
Agatha lifted her eyes to look up at him. Having faced battlefields more frequently and for longer than anyone else—wielding weapons, taking lives—was he not haunted by these memories?
“I’m not such a fragile knight.”
He replied with a fleeting look of embarrassment that soon melted into a mischievous smile. He masked his true feelings with a light-hearted comment.
Indeed, Cain always responded to awkward questions with playful humor, a trait Agatha hadn’t noticed when they first met as adults. Despite two years apart, she found it curious how she had come to recognize these subtle aspects of his behavior.
“Still, you haven’t answered my question. Are you afraid of falling asleep?”
“More than falling asleep… it’s the fear of the nightmares that might come.”
