Kill the Author, Then to Hell - Chapter 12.1

At first, I tried to take it positively. After all, there wasn’t any other option. But…

“…Have you finished reading the <Ladies’ Etiquette> I assigned as homework?”

“Well… Have you actually read this book, teacher?”

“Why do you ask? This book written by Sir Charles Levelle has served as a textbook that all young ladies must read for the past 100 years.”

Jane narrowed her eyes sternly, and I clenched my mouth shut, unable to voice my thoughts.

“Then, assuming there are no complaints, let’s see if you’ve properly read the book by giving you a question.”

“…Yes.”

“When a gentleman’s humor crosses the line and becomes crass or sexually explicit, how should a lady respond?”

Of course, I knew the answer.

‘First, quietly record it and then say this is harassment, and in this day and age, if you keep this up, I’m going to report you. Right?’

Those types tend to deny ever having said anything, so pre-recording is essential, obviously.

There might not be recording machines here, but maybe I could learn some recording magic.

It would be even better if I could discreetly mess with them using magic.

“Do you need more time to think?”

However, the answer Jane expected, the one written in the book, wasn’t that.

I forcibly opened my mouth that refused to cooperate.

“…She blushes and pretends she didn’t hear it.”

“And why is that?”

“Because men… have a mischievous tendency, and see women as pure as driven snow as charming… Ah, teacher, this really doesn’t seem right to me.”

I felt a chill run down my spine, but Jane’s face lit up with approval.

“Not at all! You did well! You’ve read the book thoroughly.”

Indeed. Hoping it might somehow be useful, I had read it from cover to cover, not missing a single letter.

Useless though it may be, my etiquette level had climbed another rung.

And if there was any gain to speak of, the book did mention magic in exactly one place.

“Now, the next question! What should be a lady’s attitude towards magic?”

Right here.

This time, I’d rather die than say it out loud.

“I don’t… really know.”

Jane sighed lightly.

“Well, it’s just the beginning, so let me tell you again. Then, Miss Edith, please repeat after me.”

“…Yes.”

“First, we are infinitely grateful for the gentlemen’s efforts.”

I mumbled along half-heartedly.

Jane added an explanation on the fly.

“You understand why, right? Practicing magic is more akin to a heavy burden than a privilege. We women enjoy special benefits. It’s only right to be grateful.”

No, burden or not, I can cast magic myself! Just let me learn how to!

As if to counter my rebellious inner thoughts, Jane recited the second item.

“Secondly, a lady accepts her ignorance and limitations.”

“Acc…ept… one’s ignorance…”

I gritted my teeth and slurred the pronunciation, but Jane continued the explanation unfazed.

“There are domains exclusive to women. For example… pleasing a man! Giving birth to children, raising them, taking care of the home…”

Jane’s lessons were a mind-numbingly dull litany of clichéd notions.

If there was any advantage, maybe it was the ability to survive longer?

Listening in one ear and out the other to Jane’s words meant the day passed by, and I avoided stirring the ire of the psychopaths under the same roof as me.

Those abominable scoundrels pretended to quite like me, as long as I quietly played the part of the ‘good daughter’.

It was on such a day, after a full six months had passed.

Rumble— 

Boom—!

Though it was not yet time for the sun to set, the surroundings were pitch-dark, and lightning struck.

Thanks to Jane finishing the lesson early, I was enjoying some alone time for the first time in a while.

“Edith, my Edith! Come out. I have good news!”

I heard the voice of my father Simon, who had returned from the capital, calling me.

BOOM—

I sensed that my long ‘endurance’ was about to finally bear fruit.

“I’m here, Father.”

Remembering Jane’s lessons, I descended the stairs with impeccable manners, held my skirt slightly, and curtsied.

Then, I lightly kissed Simon’s cheek.

‘Now, this doesn’t even repulse me.’

Simon seemed to be in a particularly good mood today.

“Yes, yes. Anything happen at home while I was away?”

“With Father protecting us from afar, what could possibly happen?”

I responded demurely with a bright smile.

The natural way these answers came to me now, after all the nagging I’d endured from Jane.

It felt like blood might pour from my ears just thinking about it, but there was a reason I could bear it.

‘If my guess is correct…’

Sure enough, from Simon’s mouth came the words I had been waiting for all along.

“Edith, it seems your match has been decided! All thanks to this father of yours!”

‘That’s it.’

I smiled triumphantly. And the man I was to marry was likely…

“Today, His Majesty the Emperor secretly promised. He will appoint you as the official consort to Crown Prince Marcel!”

Bingo.

So, this was the story where I’d become the protagonist.

A heroine, long mistreated by her family and believing she could never use magic, is sent off to become the crown prince’s bride.

But the crown prince sees her worth, teaches her magic, and they fall in love.

‘Heh, that’s so cliché.’

I must have read over a hundred books with this plot, if not more.