My Favorite Smut Author Is My Husband! - Chapter 37
After that, rumors that the Duchess was being neglected solidified into common belief within the ducal estate.
No matter what, the couple had always shared breakfast together without fail. But now, Ashulin avoided the table, leaving early for the Imperial Palace and returning late at night.
As a result, the Duchess seemed to stay inside her room, barely eating the minimum to sustain herself. Moreover, rumors spread that the sound of crying was occasionally heard.
The problem with rumors, as always, is that they never stay confined to one place.
The rumors began to spread not just within the ducal estate but even beyond its walls, eventually reaching the ears of the Count and Countess, who had raised their daughter as though she were a precious jewel.
*Knock, knock—*
“Ashulin, I’m sorry for coming so late!”
That day, after receiving a letter filled with anger from her parents, Lily approached him upon his return to the ducal estate, as always, close to midnight.
Her hand trembled slightly as she knocked, and she clasped both hands tightly together to hide the shaking as best as she could.
Though Ashulin had been avoiding her at all costs since that day, fortunately, he didn’t turn Lily away when she came to him directly.
“…Lily.”
“May I come in for a moment?”
“…..”
The Ashulin she saw after several days looked haggard. Dark circles were etched under his eyes, and his normally composed face had somehow become sharp and intimidating.
Still, he politely opened the door and allowed her to enter. Filled with fear that even the fragile bond between them might shatter, Lily stepped slowly into his room.
The room was dim, with no candles lit yet. In one corner of the dark room, only a fresh bottle of wine sat prepared.
“This is the first time I’ve been in your room,” she said.
Lily shivered slightly, feeling an eerie chill as if she had entered a beast’s lair. It was only then she realized this was the first time she had ever stepped into his room, even though a considerable amount of time had passed since their marriage.
Most of her encounters with him had taken place in the shared bedroom or the dining room. Even visiting his study for the first time had only happened recently.
“…I see.”
His voice, rough and husky, matched his haggard appearance, offering a meaningless acknowledgment. He moved to light the room and gestured toward a sofa to guide her there, but Lily shook her head.
Was it her imagination, or did the flickering candlelight make his shadowed face appear even darker?
“You must be tired, so I won’t take much of your time. My parents… they’ve sent a letter asking me to visit the Count’s estate for a while!”
“…I see.”
Ashulin’s tone remained flat and indifferent. Lily paused momentarily, lowering her head to suppress the tears welling up, and in doing so, failed to notice the flicker of pain in Ashulin’s gaze.
“The distance isn’t far, so if you permit, I’d like to leave tomorrow.”
“Do as you wish.”
Ashulin was the man who once said he loved her, wasn’t he? Despite the lies, hidden truths, and arguments, they were a married couple, and Lily believed his love for her had been genuine.
But at this moment, even that belief began to waver.
—
The words *Do you regret marrying me?* rose to her throat but remained unspoken. She had no choice but to turn and leave.
“I’ll only be gone a few days. I’ll come back safely, so there’s no need to see me off.”
She thought Ashulin might head to the Imperial Palace before she even left the estate. Even so, she didn’t want to admit he might intentionally avoid saying goodbye, so she preempted him.
Though she usually preferred confronting conflicts head-on, she decided she needed some distance from Ashulin, who constantly avoided her.
“You don’t look well. Please rest and take care of yourself while I’m gone.”
Even after all his coldness, Lily couldn’t help but worry about him until the very end. As she turned and walked away, Ashulin looked at her with a desperate gaze. Without realizing it, he let slip the words lingering at the back of his throat.
“…Have a safe trip.”
He wanted to ask, *Are you really coming back?* He wanted to beg her not to leave, to cling to her and plead, no matter how undignified it seemed. That was his true feeling. Yet, not knowing what to do afterward, those were the only words he could manage.
“Of course.”
All he could do was trust and believe in her promise to return.
—
“Madam, you’ll come back, right? You will, won’t you?”
“Of course. I’m the Duchess; where else would I go? It’s not far—I’m just dropping by my family’s house for a bit.”
“Really? I won’t eat until you come back!”
“Hey now, don’t do that. Eat while you wait. I’ll be back soon.”
The next day, the ducal estate felt like a house in mourning. Though Ashulin didn’t leave for the Imperial Palace before Lily, as she had expected, he also didn’t come out to see her off.
Instead, the servants were more forthcoming than their master, expressing their reluctance to let her go as they clung to her. Watching them, Lily offered a bittersweet smile.
She had intended to become the stern mistress of the ducal estate, but as her relationship with Ashulin faltered, she found herself relying more on the household staff, which had narrowed the distance between them.
It was the kind of connection she had hoped to build with him as well. Hiding her bitter thoughts, she glanced out of the closed carriage window, looking toward where his room would be.
“…..!”
For a fleeting moment, her eyes met Ashulin’s as he stood by the darkened window, watching her leave. Though he disappeared immediately, it was clear he had been watching her departure, and his gaze held no coldness.
“…All right. It’s fine, Lily.”
Holding back the sudden surge of tears, she clenched her fists tightly. This was merely a step back to take a leap forward.
