No Such Thing as a Chaste Man! Just Give It Ten Tries! - Chapter 46
No… this was merely a way to ensure the ritual could not proceed by requiring the purity of its caster. If that was the case, wasn’t he unjustly exploiting Seo-ah’s innocence by feeding her false information?
…No, ‘exploiting’ isn’t the right word.
Not when he had no intention of doing so in the first place.
Or did he?
“Your Holiness, my… my body, it’s… hot. Something feels strange… down there…”
But as Seo-ah threw herself at him with reckless abandon, he was once again consumed by guilt.
Wasn’t this, in its own way, another way he had ruined her?
Thanks to countless nightmares that plagued his nights—or perhaps the all-too-vivid fantasies that occasionally overwhelmed him—he knew full well how to twist her nxxples, caress her folds, and guide her to climax.
Even though the sin of glimpsing her disheveled form and knowing the feel of her bare skin had left him incapable of falling asleep without succumbing to his desires.
Still, he had to endure.
To send Seo-ah home, at least he needed to remain pure.
“Your Holiness, do I look weird? Do I not look pretty to you?”
No matter how stunning she looked.
Even if, when he first saw her in a dress, words of admiration hovered on his tongue, unbidden, and made his head spin.
“Your Holiness, can I have this dance?”
Even when she tried to close the distance between them by reminiscing about their shared past.
Even when her playful batting of her eyelashes made his heart flutter as if tickled by her every blink.
“Miss Seo-ah, you are dazzlingly beautiful today.”
“Who would’ve thought our Dame Seo-ah had such seductive beauty?”
Even when every being at the banquet showered her with praises, entranced by her beauty.
Even as jealousy burned hotly in his chest, scalding his pride as they admired her so freely while he was not permitted to.
“Let me give it one more try today. If it seems impossible, I’ll ask for your help to speak up on my behalf. Please, promise me you’ll assist me?”
Even as he realized the bittersweet temptation of her request was something he could no longer allow himself.
“If you enjoy it, would you grant me the honor of a dance with the savior of Genève?”
Even when opportunistic individuals, outwardly respectable yet filled with ulterior motives, shamelessly propositioned her.
Well, that he couldn’t abide.
Still, he had tried to endure it all.
But…
“But now, what Your Holiness thinks doesn’t matter to me anymore.”
Seo-ah’s disdain? That, he could not bear.
“And if you ever regret this later and wish to see me again, know that I’ll be out of your reach. This will be the end for us.”
It didn’t matter to him that he would perish once the ritual was complete, rendering regret irrelevant.
But the thought of Seo-ah remembering him with disdain?
“I’ll give you two choices. Come and kiss me right now—or leave me here and lose me forever.”
The idea of Seo-ah recalling him as a coward, flinching in disgust at the memory, was something he could not endure.
Whether he lived or died.
Whether they shared the same world or were separated forever.
Selfishly.
***
“Seo-ah, Seo-ah…”
No, perhaps his wavering desire had simply spilled over, startled by her threat of severing ties, breaking the dam of self-rationalization he had carefully built.
It didn’t matter what the truth was. In the end, he had succumbed—not to Seo-ah’s temptations, but to his own desires.
By doing so, he had failed to keep his promise of sending her back, and for the first time in his life, he had forsaken his sense of responsibility in a moment of recklessness.
He didn’t feel regretful. To say so would be a lie.
If anything, he felt trepidation at the unfamiliarity of what lay ahead—a future he had never imagined.
No… that wasn’t entirely true.
Subconsciously, he had vaguely envisioned Seo-ah returning from her expedition to once again fill his quiet residence with her endless questions.
He had simply tried to forget. Convinced himself he already had forgotten.
And now, faced with the overwhelming reality of a future he hadn’t dared to hope for, the man clung to the woman who had sobbed in loneliness after being summoned to his world—a woman he had now selfishly deprived of her way home.
“I couldn’t tell you any of this before, and I made every decision on my own… I’m so sorry.”
“Thank you for telling me now.”
“Even after baring all these selfish feelings I dared to have for you… I feel both relieved and deeply ashamed. I despise myself for trapping you in this cruel and self-serving world.”
As his confession reached its end, the man pulled Seo-ah into an embrace, burying his face into the crook of her neck. He rubbed his head against her, his breath heavy with the tears welling up anew. The damp warmth of his sorrow seeped into her shoulder.
