Please Forget Me - Chapter 133
‧₊˚ ☁️⋅♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ☾.
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“You said it’s like a beast…”
“…but you said I looked lovely.”
“Of course. I find you lovely no matter how you look.”
Only then did Johann release me, smiling innocently without a hint of suspicion. I turned my body and propped myself up on the bed. I had suggested doing it from the back first, but in an instant, I felt embarrassed and didn’t know what to do.
I was awkwardly blushing as Johann grabbed my hips with both hands. He pulled me upward, and I was left in a position with only my backside raised. It felt beastly.
‘How ridiculous must I look right now…’
No, it didn’t matter. No matter how I appeared, I was sure I only looked like Dana to Johann.
“Ugh…”
As Johann entered me, a sob escaped my lips. Thankfully, he didn’t suspect anything.
“If you’re uncomfortable or in pain, just tell me.”
Perhaps because he couldn’t see my face, Johann began to thrust while making such a request. I wouldn’t say anything. I had already started this act with an uncomfortable heart; my body being uncomfortable was a trivial matter.
“Turn your head to me.”
Even as his thrusts grew more intense, my body didn’t feel discomfort, yet Johann kept making me uneasy in my heart.
“Look at me.”
I had chosen to be a dog, trying not to look at him.
Johann had a habit of murmuring quietly while having s*x, and though I suspected he might be whispering another woman’s name, I only confirmed it when he accidentally let it slip recently.
His whispers were so soft that they could be mistaken for breathing, and he seemed to think I hadn’t heard him, murmuring the name of another woman while releasing his desires into my body both the other day and last night.
‘I don’t want to see that anymore.’
I couldn’t bring myself to reject Johann, but I didn’t really want to grant his request to see me either.
“I’m embarrassed.”
Johann chuckled at my excuse, finding me cute.
“Why are you suddenly embarrassed? Want me to flip you back over?”
“Ah, no. This feels… better.”
That was a lie. I couldn’t feel much, as if my senses were dulled.
The position was no different from when I had straddled him before. Back then, it had felt overwhelming, but now, there was no thrill at all. Johann seemed to notice this too.
“If you like it…”
He resumed his thrusts, but something felt off. Normally, after a while, he would lose control and thrust into me frantically, but today, no matter how long I waited, his movements remained steady and controlled.
I was waiting for him to climax, wanting that moment…
“How does this feel?”
Even as I offered my body to serve him, Johann acted as if he was serving me instead.
He kept poking, prodding, and rolling, repeatedly asking about my feelings. Did I like this? And then…
“Rize.”
“…Yes?”
“You’re completely unfocused. What are you thinking about?”
I’m thinking about the woman you love.
“Nothing…”
The moment I lied, a rough sigh escaped his lips, brushing against my neck.
“Who are you thinking of while we’re making love?”
At that moment, I felt a chill run down my spine. The lips that had been on my neck hesitated, so I knew Johann felt it too. In that silence, which felt like the world had paused, he asked the question I needed to hear.
“You love me… right?”
Is it true that you love me?
Ultimately, tonight neither of us opened the gates to heaven. As we lay there washed clean and silently staring into the abyss of darkness, a loud banging erupted.
Bang! Bang! Bang!
The sound of fists pounding on the front door echoed like gunfire through the still night.
Startled, I turned to Johann. It was pitch dark, but I could feel him looking back at me. We both sat up at once and moved toward the window in the familiar darkness.
Peering out by slightly pulling aside the thick curtains, I spotted a truck parked in front of the building. Thanks to the headlights that were left on despite the blackout regulations, I could see that the figure at the door was dressed in military uniform.
‘No, please tell me they’re not here to catch a deserter.’
The downstairs neighbor, Mrs. Becker, was probably trembling and peeking out the same way I was. Please, not Johann. But when the soldier banged on the door again and called out, the name was not a man’s.
“Rize Renner, Major Felkner is calling for you!”
…At this hour?
A sense of foreboding engulfed me, sending chills prickling across my skin. It had been three days since Brigitta’s death. If he needed a woman, he could call someone else; why me at such a late hour?
The answer was already in the back of my mind. With no other woman to use as a substitute, he was resorting to threats and coercion against me.
‘I don’t want to go.’
I stepped back from the window, a surge of fear filling my thoughts. I needed to find a place to hide. It didn’t make sense for me not to be home at this hour after the roll call, and I knew that if I made excuses, we could both end up labeled as spies, just like Brigitta.
Bang! Bang! Bang!
“Rize Renner! Come out immediately.”
The call echoed inside and outside the building again. If I didn’t go out, they would break the door down and drag me out.
“I… I need to hide…”
“Rize.”
In my terror, Johann grabbed me as I desperately searched for a place to hide.
