Please Forget Me - Chapter 137
‧₊˚ ☁️⋅♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ☾.
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“…But he certainly didn’t seem like that at all.”
“Sergeant Hoffman didn’t show it, but I’m sure he felt guilty and disillusioned. I can guarantee that.”
The Corporal said that Sergeant Hoffman was someone who kept his emotions and thoughts hidden. Because of this, he often ended up taking on the unpleasant tasks that others avoided, and yet he did so quietly and without complaint.
“In fact, every time the Major orders us to bring a woman, especially Madam, we all look like we’re about to die. Since Sergeant Hoffman is the most senior in our squad, he probably felt bad about sending a junior who didn’t want to go, so he ended up taking it on himself.”
That’s why, that night, instead of bringing a driver as usual, Sergeant Hoffman drove alone, fully aware of the Major’s clear intentions.
“That night, the Major was heavily drunk…”
“Ah…”
I had been curious about why he, who had maintained the principle of ‘not sleeping with a married woman,’ was willing to break it that night without warning. But it turned out it was just due to excessive drinking. Knowing this left me feeling empty and unable to speak.
“He wasn’t in his right mind. Sergeant Hoffman thought that if he went back without Madam, he didn’t know what the Major might do to him.”
The Corporal glanced around again, lowered his voice even more, and confessed that the Major wasn’t just cruel to the women but also tortured ordinary soldiers, often leaving them in misery.
“So, despite knowing it wasn’t right, he tried to take Madam with him. To be honest, and I mean really honestly, at that time, he had an unspoken thought that it would be easier for everyone if Madam just accepted being the Major’s mistress… why make things harder for everyone?”
“…What?”
“No, I’m not blaming Madam. He said it because, being under that devil, he felt like he had turned into a devil himself, and he regretted it…”
The Corporal sighed heavily and wiped his reddened face with his hand.
“I’m not trying to defend him, but I think Sergeant Hoffman isn’t as heartless as he seems. He was just pushed to the brink, and that’s how he ended up in that state… Ah, now that I say it, I suppose that does sound like defending him…”
The Corporal fumbled over his words, scratched his head in embarrassment, and took a deep breath before continuing.
“The reason I’m telling you this today is…”
But as soon as he started speaking, he stopped again. Hesitating with an even more uncomfortable expression than before, he muttered the words as if confessing.
“Sergeant Hoffman wrote a letter and hanged himself right after he returned that night.”
“…What?”
“He was apparently afraid of what the Major would do to him. And from what he wrote in the letter, it seems he was deeply shocked and felt like he was becoming a devil too.”
The Corporal let out a somber sigh and, seeing my expression, quickly waved his hands.
“I’m not asking you to feel sorry for Sergeant Hoffman. I don’t want you to feel guilty. You’ve done nothing wrong. The mistake lies with just one person.”
“….”
“You don’t need to look so troubled. Our squad member found Sergeant Hoffman before it was too late.”
“That’s a relief.”
I never imagined I would feel this way about someone who tried to kill Johann… When I didn’t know the truth, he seemed like a heartless demon, but now that I understand, he just seems like a weak human being. It’s not so easy to hate him endlessly. Had he not fallen into this hell, he never would have become a devil.
“Yesterday, Sergeant Hoffman woke up and asked me to bring this to Mr. and Mrs. Renner.”
The Corporal explained that he had come to deliver this message because of the request. He slid three crumpled ration slips through the window.
“He apologizes. He never intended to kill Mr. Renner that day—he only meant to threaten him, but he crossed the line, and even that was wrong. He deeply regrets it. Also, he feels truly sorry for trying to take Madam to that man, and he says he can’t hold his head up because of it. So, this is a token of his apology…”
The three ration slips were wrinkled, with their corners worn, unlike the new ones the Major always had.
“Ah, of course, this is just a gesture of apology, not an attempt to make everything go away…”
As I still stared at the ration slips, refusing to take them, the Corporal misunderstood and felt the need to explain.
“It’s not that I’m asking you to forget everything by accepting this…”
“I understand that.”
I knew that neither Sergeant Hoffman nor the Corporal who brought me this difficult message were people who would manipulate me.
“Still, I can’t accept this…”
I rejected the worn ration slips.
“I will accept the apology, though.”
Hearing that I would accept the apology, the Corporal smiled for the first time.
“I’m truly grateful for your generosity, Madam. But since you’re accepting the apology, please also accept the ration slips.”
“No, it’s fine. Please return them to Sergeant Hoffman.”
“If you don’t accept them, Sergeant Hoffman might think you didn’t accept his apology at all.”
Well, I could just take it and pocket it for myself. I thought this person was quite honest, though. Eventually, after some back-and-forth, I agreed to accept one slip, considering his genuine intent. I took the old ration slip and thanked him.
“Please tell Sergeant Hoffman that I wish him a speedy recovery.”
“I will certainly pass that along. Thank you again, Madam, for your kindness in thinking of Sergeant Hoffman’s health.”
