Please Forget Me - Chapter 152
‧₊˚ ☁️⋅♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ☾.
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“But…”
“I know the reason. I told you to stay home knowing that. Can’t you try to understand why? I’m doing all this to protect you, but if something happens to you, then what was all of this for?”
This was the first time Johann was pushing me so hard, and I felt completely crushed. I couldn’t even find the chance to ask the questions that were burning in my mind.
Where have you been? What were you doing? What’s with the car?
Despite his constant anger, the man who was wiping my face, streaked with tears and covered in dirt, smelled unfamiliar. It was the scent of hard liquor and cigarettes. The smell of the Major—or at least what I thought of as his scent.
‘…The Major?’
I was so confused that I spoke my thoughts out loud, without realizing it.
“Johann… Who were you with, and what were you doing?”
“You’re not listening to me.”
His cold voice snapped me out of my thoughts, and the glare he gave me sent a shiver down my spine.
“Ah, well….”
What was Johann saying? He grabbed me and, locking eyes with me, demanded:
“Promise me that you won’t do this again. Promise me that you’ll listen to me from now on.”
“Y-Yes, I promise.”
Johann’s eyes narrowed, as if my words were just an empty promise. It didn’t seem like he believed me. So I quickly added a condition to make it more convincing.
“If I break it, I’ll starve. I’ll stay locked in that wardrobe for the whole evening without eating.”
Johann’s eyes widened. His pupils were trembling like a forest caught in a storm.
“…Why would I lock you up and starve you? As long as you don’t break your promise, even if you don’t understand me at times, that’s enough.”
“I won’t break it. So please, don’t be angry. I’m scared.”
My voice faltered, trembling as if pulled tight by an invisible thread. At that moment, Johann looked like he was about to cry. He closed his eyes tightly and pulled me into a tight embrace.
“I’m sorry for getting angry. It’s not because I hate you. I just… I love you. I want to protect you, but you don’t trust me, and that makes me angry…”
“I’m sorry.”
I apologized, but for some reason, Johann seemed to be suffering even more.
“Don’t say that. You don’t need to apologize to me. And you don’t need to kneel and beg like you did today. You don’t need to do that anymore.”
…Anymore?
“No one will hurt you anymore.”
Did that mean there was someone who used to hurt me?
“The Major too.”
The Major? That made me change my focus. I lifted my head from his chest, and Johann looked straight into my eyes, speaking firmly once more.
“The Major will never hurt you again.”
Why?
“…Did you kill him?”
If that were the case, I knew he wouldn’t be calmly undressing me now, nor would a military officer have driven him home in the car. I knew this, yet I asked, because as long as that devil was alive, he would never stop tormenting me.
“I wanted to kill him. That’s why I went to kill him.”
The moment I heard the answer, I jerked back, grabbing Johann’s wrist as he started unbuttoning my skirt. He only gave a wry smile but continued to calmly remove my skirt, which was now covered in dirt.
“But I couldn’t do it.”
“Ah…”
It was a sigh of relief, but perhaps Johann heard it as a sigh of disappointment. He didn’t look me in the eye as he seemed to berate himself.
“I hate myself. After he did such terrible things to you, I still couldn’t kill him.”
“No. You did the right thing.”
“I promised that I would do anything for you.”
“Johann, I don’t want a devil who would kill a person for me. I want you.”
Only then did Johann’s stiffened expression soften. Although still exhausted, his lips, now faintly smiling, brushed against my forehead.
I had tilted my head up for a kiss on my lips, but he pulled away from me and, without looking at me again, started undoing the last button of my blouse.
“I know, but today… it feels shameful to tell you I love you.”
“No, if you love me, then you should do what I ask.”
He chuckled, tossing my blouse into the laundry basket.
“I’ll turn that around on you. If you love me, then you should do what I ask.”
I was left speechless. I couldn’t help but laugh without any energy.
“Anyway, I did well, so now say you love me.”
Only then did Johann’s smile become more distinct.
He undressed me, leaving only the chemise on, before taking off his suit jacket.
Uncharacteristically messy, he threw the jacket over the bed’s footboard, then began unbuttoning his sleeves and neck. Just when I thought he was going to take off his shirt, he sat on the bed and started pulling up his pants.
Watching as the revolver tucked inside his socks was put into the side table drawer, I asked:
“So, what did you do with the Major?”
“Tomorrow…”
Johann mumbled like a lamp running out of oil, then collapsed onto the bed, still wearing his shirt, pants, vest, and half undone tie.
If he was this exhausted, he should have undressed himself first, not me. I climbed onto the bed, unbuttoning his tie and vest for him. As he lay there with his eyes closed, he murmured softly.
“Tomorrow… I’ll tell you.”
