Please Forget Me - Chapter 157
‧₊˚ ☁️⋅♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ☾.
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“…When he feels at ease, he’ll open up on his own. By gradually learning to handle discomfort like this, eventually he’ll be able to speak to those who make him uncomfortable.”
“I’ll take that to heart and follow your advice, Teacher.”
Mrs. Hildebrandt nodded seriously, then turned her head toward her husband, as if asking if he had understood. The general, rather than absorbing the advice, seemed to be more focused on asking this next question. Contrary to his appearance, he was quite an impatient person.
“So, when did you stop keeping silent?”
He was asking how long he had to endure his son’s silence.
“I overcame it around the age of fifteen.”
“That long?”
“Even after such a long time, he grew into a man with no flaws?”
Both of them were astonished for different reasons. Mrs. Hildebrandt, seeing Johann thrive, not only holding a job, a speaking one at that, but also marrying and living as an ordinary man, was overwhelmed with hope. She grasped her husband’s hand tightly, her eyes welling up.
“To think he found such a beautiful wife, if our Thomas grows up like you, I will have no other wish.”
“Actually… I overcame it thanks to this beautiful wife.”
When Johann took my hand and said this, I felt like I had been struck in the head once more.
“Falling in love gave me the courage. It was her. She was my destiny. When I met someone with that feeling, I couldn’t let her go…”
His fingers intertwined with mine. I looked up to find Johann smiling at me. The smile felt bittersweet rather than sweet.
“So, you met your wife when you were fifteen?”
“Yes, she was my first love.”
I was relieved when Johann turned his head toward Mrs. Hildebrandt. If I had heard that answer while looking into his eyes, I don’t know how I would have reacted.
“Of course, it wasn’t like I suddenly started speaking like a miracle. At first, we communicated through writing, and I worked hard on training to have conversations face to face, wanting to look into her eyes while talking.”
“And then, finally, you were able to speak. You achieved love and marriage—it’s very romantic.”
Johann responded with a smile instead of words. It was still the same smile, not entirely comforting.
“Thomas might change when he finds a girl he likes.”
He shifted the topic back to someone else’s story, then turned his gaze back to me. But it didn’t stay there long. Like a thief reading my expression, he quickly averted his eyes.
When I was listening to his childhood story earlier, I had blinked, pretending not to know. Maybe Johann hadn’t read me properly. His expression softened slightly, a hint of relief in it.
“So, did you fall for him even knowing he couldn’t speak?”
The general’s question, which had been silent until now, came suddenly. The fact that he was asking me, not Johann, made me feel even more flustered, and I opened my mouth, only to shut it again, as if I were the one who couldn’t speak.
“Rize doesn’t remember.”
Johann stepped in to rescue me, as though saving himself in the process.
“Oh, right. My apologies.”
“My, this is a heartbreaking story. Two people fall in love, but only one remembers…”
Indeed, it was heartbreaking. I didn’t know about Johann’s first love. It wasn’t that I couldn’t remember—it was that I didn’t know. From the beginning, it wasn’t part of my memory.
Johann’s first love wasn’t me.
“So, you met your wife when you were fifteen?”
“Yes, she was my first love.”
Lies. We met at the field hospital. We were already adults, not fifteen.
I had always wanted to know how Johann fell in love, but only now was I hearing about it. However, what I wanted to know was about my story with him, not about some other woman.
Not only had I forced myself to learn something I never wanted to know, but I also learned it in the most miserable way. The love story with another woman had somehow turned into a story with me.
‘It seems like you’re uncomfortable with this lie too, aren’t you?’
Throughout the telling of a love that had triumphed over adversity, there was something off about Johann.
He couldn’t meet my eyes, glancing at me for a moment before looking away. It seemed like he couldn’t deceive me, no matter how much he tried. Holding my hand and saying I was his destiny, his smile was shadowed.
‘If you’re going to be like this, why even tell me?’
The couple, who were listening with genuine sympathy, weren’t the ones prying. But since Johann had started the conversation, they were now curious and began probing into our story.
“Rize, during the Leningen Air Raid…”
Johann answered as he placed a piece of trout onto my plate from the dish in front of him. He must have known that I was hesitant to take more, even though I liked it, because it would be embarrassing to serve myself in front of others.
But I had already lost my appetite. Facing Mrs. Hildebrant, who was smiling warmly at us, made my face flush. She probably thought I was embarrassed, and she was right, but she couldn’t guess the real reason.
‘You don’t know what this man did to me, do you? You don’t know the real reason why he cares for me so much, do you?’
The couple, who couldn’t possibly know, admired our story as they listened.
“That’s a rare tale these days.”
“Indeed. It’s so moving. I can’t remember the last time I heard such a genuine love story.”
