Please Kill Me - Chapter 148
Is this really the treatment for a runaway?
How is he planning to stab her in the back like this? For three months, she has been bracing herself and staying on edge. And now, a ‘Mistress’ position?
‘It feels like Dmitry is treating me like when I was younger.’
What on earth is he thinking? What are his true intentions?
If Dmitry is not hostile towards her, could it be possible to have a decent relationship with Leonid someday?
To calm her confused mind, Yekaterina stepped out onto the terrace. Having spent so long in the party hall, her steps were a bit unsteady.
She was very sensitive to sensory overload, so the constant bombardment of lights, decorations, and the sheer number of people in a place like a party hall was difficult for her to endure.
Nevertheless, the reason Yekaterina had been in the party hall was simple.
‘Leonid is here.’
She had heard that he was coming.
Of course, it was Dmitry who had informed her of this.
However, it was not surprising that Dmitry had given her this information, as the Rostislav family always attended the Vesna party, unlike Offenbach, which usually returned to their territory immediately after the event.
— Duke Rostislav is known for attending the Vesna party every year. He’ll probably be here again. If you’re unlucky, your paths might cross.
Dmitry had likely said this to gauge Yekaterina’s reaction, but she gave no response.
She knew well enough that she couldn’t afford to have any expectations.
Since returning to Offenbach, Yekaterina had been keeping a close eye on any news about Rostislav. She was worried about Leonid, whom she had left behind, and needed to monitor if Dmitry might breach their agreement.
Thanks to this, she was up to date with Rostislav’s activities up to now.
And based on her observations, Rostislav had shown no notable actions.
To be precise, they had done absolutely nothing.
Rostislav was not a family known for much outward activity, but even considering that, it was surprising how they had done nothing at all.
There had been no changes or attempts at anything new. Leonid still seemed to ride out frequently and was pushing his work forward, making Rostislav run even more smoothly than before her departure.
This realization felt like a brand on Yekaterina’s anxious heart.
‘It turns out I was meant to disappear.’
It was only after seeing this that Yekaterina realized she had unconsciously hoped for something. She had secretly wished that someone from Rostislav would come looking for her after she was gone.
She didn’t expect it to be Leonid. She wasn’t so lacking in conscience that she could hope for him to seek her out after she had harshly pushed him away and left.
But perhaps Vasily, Olga, Igor, Josip, or any of the others.
She had hoped that someone might miss her, even just a little.
She felt this way herself. Despite wearing fine clothes and enjoying the best things in Offenbach, and receiving good treatment and living comfortably, she couldn’t shake the feeling she had experienced at Rostislav.
It felt as if she had cut out a part of her heart and left it behind there. Otherwise, how could she feel so empty?
On days when the table was set with duck, the same dish she had always eaten at Rostislav, her appetite waned. Every time she looked in the mirror, the bangs that Olga and Stepan had cut made her heart flutter.
‘It seems it was only me who felt this way.’
For them, she was probably just a passing acquaintance, and this was to be expected.
Yekaterina realized that, even if she didn’t wish for it, they would likely erase her from their memories quite easily. In fact, they might have already done so.
Otherwise, they wouldn’t be so indifferent.
Every time the empty, perhaps even slightly regretful feeling welled up, Yekaterina forced herself to push it aside. And she thought:
‘It’s for the best.’
Everything becomes dull with time, including emotions and memories.
Yekaterina wanted to erase everything related to Rostislav as quickly as possible. Even the memories of the joy Leonid had once shared with her.
Yes, that was certainly the case.
‘But why do I…’
Why couldn’t she let go and kept wandering the throbbing party hall?
Even if she was to meet him again, there would be nothing to say.
‘How shameless of me.’
Feeling a slight weariness with herself, Yekaterina leaned against the terrace.
She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, feeling the cold air fill her nostrils and circulate through her body. The sensation cleared her mind a little.
‘It’s time to truly let go.’
The time had come to forget and discard everything related to Rostislav.
Yekaterina was someone who excelled at erasing and forgetting from memory. It shouldn’t be too difficult.
With her resolve firm, Yekaterina turned around with a lighter heart.
