Please Kill Me - Chapter 187
In other words, the fact that she chose to take her own life indicated how terrified she was of the memory of death.
The dark stone corridor, with the familiar scent of blood seeping through the cracks between the bricks, sent chills down her spine.
Although it was Yekaterina’s first time here, underground prisons were generally similar everywhere.
How different could the palace’s from Offenbach’s really be?
They both reeked of blood and were filled with the sounds of clanking chains and the cries of monsters.
As Yekaterina walked deeper into the underground prison, the echoes grew stronger. Or perhaps it was just an illusion.
With each step down the stairs, her breathing became more erratic, and her head spun.
The steps, which should have slanted downward, swayed like the surface of choppy seawater.
Eventually, after just a few steps, Yekaterina stumbled and fell to the ground.
Bracing herself against the cold stone steps, her upper body trembled violently with each harsh breath.
“Huff, huff.”
Horrific memories replayed in her mind.
The sound of her arm being crushed in the monster’s jaws. The pain so intense that even screaming felt impossible.
Cold sweat trickled down her back. Though Yekaterina usually reacted with indifference, the memory would always leave her feeling cold.
There had certainly been worse and more terrifying situations than that.
Even when she was thrown into the contaminated forest to die and had to return alone, she hadn’t felt this scared. The day she was first thrown into the monster pit with only a dagger in hand, or the day she had to flee carrying the dismembered body of a fellow soldier, those experiences had not been this terrifying.
The difference was singular.
Whether or not there was a place to return to.
As long as she could escape that location and situation, Yekaterina could go back to Offenbach. It might not be the coziest home, but it would be a safe place where she could close her eyes in peace.
Isn’t that what home is, what a place to return to means? A space where she could finally let her tightly wound heart relax.
But when she was trapped in the underground prison, she had been cast out from that very space.
The place she believed she could lean on and rest her weary spirit.
She had been deprived of the unspoken permission to look forward to another tomorrow.
There was no longer a place she could return to. Even just a small patch of ground to stand on would have been enough for her.
At that moment, Yekaterina despaired for the first time.
She had not despaired when she lost her entire family, nor during countless brushes with death, but she could no longer endure.
And this place was reigniting the despair and helplessness that had been etched deeply into her mind back then. If Yekaterina had entered the underground prison for any other reason, she might have failed her mission for the first time.
The floor of the underground prison, not far away, looked like an abyss, and it felt as if it was her tomb. How could she take another step?
Yet, Yekaterina couldn’t retreat.
She clenched her trembling hands tightly and steadied herself.
‘Father is already dead.’
I am no longer someone who must die. There is no one left who can confine me to this underground prison.
Now she could speak freely. She didn’t want to die.
There was someone she wanted to give her remaining life to.
The only person who had reached out to her, even when no one else had, who had helped her hold on to a life she had nearly given up on herself.
A person who had sacrificed themselves for her, even though she had never treated herself with care.
They had lived such different lives but had ultimately come to understand each other in the face of death.
My beloved Leonid.
‘I have never been able to speak my heart to you.’
What she had spit out after taking the confession drug was not her own will, and when she could speak, she had been afraid to say anything that might hurt him.
That she wanted to be by his side, that she wanted to return with him.
Now she could truly say it, but the one to hear those words was about to have his neck hung on the guillotine.
As those thoughts crossed her mind, her breath, which had been coming in panicked gasps, began to steady. She drew the dagger that was cool against her thigh.
Without hesitation, she dragged it across her palm.
“Ugh.”
Blood gushed forth, and pain woke her up.
She ripped the hem of her skirt to tightly bind her palm, then rose to her feet.
Her goal was now right before her. There was no time to waste.
Soon her footsteps disappeared into the depths of the underground prison.
* * *
Yuri Oleg.
Now frequently referred to by the title of Crown Prince of Ethiel, the man raised an eyebrow at the news he had just received.
“…So, you still don’t know where Yekaterina Offenbach has gone?”
“I’m sorry. We are still searching, but as you know, she’s quite unpredictable.”
Before him stood the bearer of the news, Vasily, with his head bowed.
“No, it makes sense. When I first heard of Leonid’s death sentence, she was the first person I thought of. I thought maybe you could manage to keep her in check…”
Vasily couldn’t stop Yekaterina. It was a painfully obvious truth.
As he pondered, the wound from being stabbed by her knife throbbed again, causing Yuri to scowl.
