Please Kill Me - Chapter 197
There were numerous reports of Nikolai, the stableman’s son, secretly shedding tears over a broken heart, but no one really cared about that.
All the servants in Rostislav were rooting for Leonid’s love, as they all knew just how much he had deteriorated in Yekaterina’s absence. It was only natural.
But now, Yekaterina has disappeared again?
As everyone nervously wondered how to break the news to Leonid, the bravest among them stepped forward.
“Your Grace! Miss has disappeared!”
“I know, so stop making noise about it, Vasily.”
To everyone’s surprise, Leonid’s response was not what they expected.
“I’ll send people to search for her immediately—wait, what?”
Vasily, who had opened the door with tension, stood frozen, wide-eyed. The fact that Yekaterina had disappeared was shocking enough, but that Leonid already knew?
“Aren’t you…going to search for her?”
“She’ll return on her own.”
Leonid replied calmly, leaning back against his chair.
Though it was true that he wasn’t entirely at ease, this time, Leonid could not hold onto Yekaterina.
“Yekaterina has things she needs to handle. If she goes back to Rostislav, she won’t be able to come to the capital for a while, so it has to happen now.”
With that, Leonid closed his eyes. The conversation he had had with Yekaterina a few days ago came to his mind.
When he had told her about Dmitry, Yekaterina had looked uncomfortable. It was as though she had left home to avoid something she should not have ignored.
— I see. So, that boy… eventually…
He had known then. Yekaterina would go see Dmitry at least once.
So, when Yekaterina kissed him while he was asleep, Leonid had instinctively known the time had come.
‘You need to come back soon’
He could already feel her absence.
Leonid’s nature was not exactly gentle.
Though those who knew him would never say so, Leonid was aware that he wasn’t exactly the most upright person. He just knew how to hide it well.
Looking back, there had been several events in his life that could have stirred emotions in him—his grandfather’s death, Elena’s passing, and Yuri’s declaration.
But through all of these events, Leonid had never once shed tears or shown anger.
Even when he knew Yuri had declared his intent to dig his own grave and claim the throne, Leonid didn’t react.
He had simply said that he would help Yuri, quietly.
‘I wanted to think as distantly as I could.’
He didn’t want to be swayed by the death of loved ones or the reckless actions of his last remaining friend. So, he always kept an appropriate distance, engaging only as deeply as necessary.
Before meeting Yekaterina, Leonid had managed to live like that.
When it came to her matters, Leonid had lost his sense of balance. He couldn’t gauge how close was too close, or how deep was too deep. He was always floundering in his own daily struggles, caught in a never-ending pit of confusion.
But ironically, this uncertainty made him less afraid of the other things he had avoided for so long.
Whenever he spent time with Yekaterina, Leonid would often share his stories. There were two reasons for this. The first was that Yekaterina’s own stories were not pleasant to repeat.
— Do you want me to tell you about my past? I don’t know where to start. Should I talk about the first time I entered the monster pit? Or maybe the time I went to the contaminated forest, where everyone I was with died…
— … Or should we just talk about what’s for dinner tonight?
That day, Leonid promised himself he would never again ask Yekaterina about her past.
The second reason was that Yekaterina really enjoyed hearing Leonid’s stories. She liked learning how he had lived. When he told her about how, as a child, he and Yuri had rolled their trousers and waded into the river to catch fish, her dark eyes would light up.
She seemed to focus entirely on him when he spoke, and Leonid enjoyed that look on her face, so he would often share his stories with her. Naturally, this led to conversations about the people who had died, and what surprised him was that it wasn’t as frightening as he had thought.
Has he ever shared these stories with anyone before?
When he was with Yekaterina, Leonid felt like he was a much better person. He later realized that this was the comfort of stability.
He suddenly remembered something Yekaterina had said one day:
— When I look at you… I feel like I can really sense that you love me, with your whole being. That’s why I like it.
In response, Leonid had kissed her. Reflecting on that moment, Leonid let out a sigh.
‘I already miss you this much.’
It was a big problem.
* * *
‘By now, Leonid must know that I’ve disappeared.’
She hoped he hadn’t misunderstood. She wished she had been able to tell him, but if she had said she was going to Offenbach, he likely wouldn’t have let her go.
He still got anxious, as if afraid she would be taken from him. And if that were to happen, he was sure the culprit would be Offenbach, without a doubt.
