Portrait of An Arrogant Master - Chapter 45
She wanted to ask what had been bothering him lately, but couldn’t bring herself to do it. Even if he had been awake that night, she doubted he would share his worries with someone like her…
‘It’s probably just unnecessary worry.’
Maybe this is why people say you can’t live with a guilty conscience.
Since that day, she had been anxious, connecting every little thing to the incident, wondering if he knew or if he was angry about it. Feeling his steady heartbeat, she lifted her head, sensing his warm breath close by.
‘If he was awake that night, it means he pretended not to notice.’
Given that he hadn’t mentioned anything until now, she didn’t know how to interpret his silence. Was it indifference? Was he unsure how to respond to her? Or maybe…
“Don’t push your luck.”
His low voice suddenly broke the silence. Her hand was on his cheek. Realizing it too late, she quickly pulled back, but the damage was done.
“One mistake is enough, don’t you think?”
He sighed, sounding tired. Macy’s heart sank.
“Were you…awake that night?”
“Is it strange to be awake when someone’s sticking their tongue in your mouth?”
“I didn’t! It just happened accidentally…!”
She raised her voice in a sudden outburst, only to regret it immediately.
“I’m sorry…”
Was he going to be upset? Macy wasn’t in a position to argue. She had been caught kissing someone who was asleep. Was he mad? He must be.
Macy trembled inside, fearing his anger.
“It doesn’t matter. It’s not like it’s worn out.”
He spoke casually, as if it was no big deal, and pulled her head against his chest, her face buried in his shirt.
“It looks like Eren really doesn’t mind…?”
Her words came out sharp and tinged with hurt, even to her own ears.
“It’s hard to take a child’s prank seriously.”
A child’s prank…
Right. To him, it probably felt that way.
His personality might be a bit harsh but Eren was a successful businessman and is attractive, so he must be popular. Of course, he would be experienced too.
But…
‘I was serious…’
To him, it might have felt like a trivial, playful contact, but for Macy, it was an uncontrollable surge of emotions that led her to kiss him. Her mind told her not to do it, but her body moved on its own.
It was an action driven by overwhelming feelings, as if she couldn’t tell up from down. Yet, Eren’s words made her feel like her sincerity was being dismissed. Maybe it would have hurt less if he had gotten angry instead.
This felt like he didn’t even see her as a woman.
“Did you need a practice partner or something?”
She was starting to feel down when he said something strange. Something almost absurd.
“…Why would you think that?”
“If it wasn’t a prank, then there’s no way you kissed me out of affection when you don’t even know what I look like. You’re at an age where curiosity peaks, and your attempts were quite clumsy.”
His reasoning made sense. Even to Macy, it seemed plausible. She didn’t expect to be so drawn to someone she barely knew. She had just become an adult and was still naive, so her actions were indeed awkward.
Thus, Eren’s guess was more realistic.
“What if I did it because I liked you?”
She didn’t know why she said that. She could have let it slide, could have just agreed with him. Instead, her lips trembled after she spoke. At least the darkness hid her trembling.
After a moment of silence, he spoke in a somewhat dry voice.
“That would make things complicated.”
Oh…
“Do you remember what I told you on the first day of the Name treatment?”
She remembered.
“I said I don’t want unnecessary contact and that I hoped we wouldn’t become curious about each other’s identities.”
Seeing her silent, he repeated it clearly as if to remind her.
“I can’t give you what you want.”
It was an unmistakable rejection. She had anticipated this response, but it still felt like a heavy stone pressing down on her chest. A warm sensation welled up in her throat.
‘How pathetic…’
Why did she even bring this up? She knew how it would end.
Swallowing her numbness, she remained silent. Eren sighed and began to pull away.
“Wait.”
At that moment, Macy grabbed Eren’s arm on instinct. She felt that letting him go now could mean he might never return to the cabin.
‘I have to stop him.’
She began speaking, almost desperately, saying the first things that came to her mind.
“I’m sorry. You were so serious that I missed the chance to say it was a joke.”
He remained silent.
“I did want to practice. I was afraid of being seen as foolish for never having had a first kiss… I was curious about how it felt, so…”
She managed to hold him back. But she doubted if Eren would believe such a flimsy lie.
