Salvation of the Fallen - Chapter 19
Arsena resigned herself. There was nothing she could do. Even Rosalyn seemed to have lost interest and didn’t seek her out. Arsena was isolated alone in the vast Count’s mansion.
Nevertheless, there were things to be done. At set times, Katarini dragged Arsena to the temple. Arsena was the living grace and blessing of God. She was displayed and reminded of this fact at every moment.
Under the shadow of the priest praising the Count and Countess’s mercy and the pretentious Count’s family, Arsena stood at the edge of a cliff she couldn’t fall from. Even when she felt nauseous to the point of her insides turning, there was nowhere to escape. She could only endure and bear it.
When nausea welled up, Arsena closed her eyes and recalled her sanctuary. The abandoned land no one visited. The large tree on the hill hid her with its thick leaves. And…
“It’s over.”
At the unfamiliar yet familiar voice, Arsena jerked her head up and looked around. The service had ended, and everyone had left like an ebbing tide, except for that man who shouldn’t be there.
“You’ve grown a lot.”
It was the same man she had encountered on the hill. The person who had taken away her only sanctuary to escape from the world. The man who appeared in her dreams every night to give her terrible nightmares was smiling gently with his red eyes, wearing the same long white clothes as on that day they met.
“How did you…”
Arsena felt vaguely afraid at the fact that someone who knew her past was around. At least here, she had to be an orphan. She had to be the proof of the Count and Countess’s mercy and God’s grace to show everyone. That was her only value.
“Do you think you can still run away now?”
What did he mean? She couldn’t fathom. She couldn’t read the man’s face, always smiling as if wearing a mask, unlike other people’s expressions with clear colors.
But her body instinctively sensed danger and began to tremble like an aspen tree. For a moment, the man’s thick white knuckles looked like hooks that would drag her into a deeper mire. She was afraid. The wrist the man had crushed throbbed like an afterimage.
“This is the last time.”
Incomprehensible words flowed from the man’s red lips. Arsena clutched her skirt with her damp palms.
“My family must be waiting for me.”
“Ah… Is that so? Then go ahead.”
That couldn’t be true. Just by the fact that he had disappeared leaving Arsena like this, she could tell. But despite Arsena’s clumsy lie, the man smiled brightly. As if satisfied, even.
“See you later.”
He even waved his hand as he pushed Arsena away. Feeling the cool temperature touching her back, Arsena woke up from her nightmare. Her small heart pounded as if it would burst out.
She thought it was a dream. Just like her usual nightmares. It was much later that she understood the man’s words from her dream. After everything had already begun. Irreversibly so.
***
After Arsena came out of the Room of Repentance, Rosalyn closed her ears and shut her eyes. She couldn’t face Arsena at all. Arsena, who had endured a full ten days in the Room of Repentance, couldn’t possibly be in her right mind. No one had ever done that before.
It was never her intention. She was just a child. Just scared of the whole situation. Weak and young. So Arsena being misunderstood and locked in the Room of Repentance was absolutely not her fault. She hadn’t done anything.
Rosalyn repeated this countless times as she turned away from Arsena.
It was like not daring to look at whether a bird that had hit a wall and fallen had died. Fearful and worried, but it wasn’t her fault. It was purely coincidental. That everything had turned out this way.
Rosalyn had merely thrown the jewel, and Arsena had just picked it up. What happened after that… Rosalyn hadn’t done anything. So it was not Rosalyn’s responsibility. No one would think so. Not even the God she believed in.
…Was that really true?
Confused by her shallow guilt for a moment, Rosalyn saw Arsena.
In the abandoned garden. Just like that day, reading a worn-out book among the overgrown weeds, looking like the pitiful Saira.
Rosalyn felt relieved. The fallen bird hadn’t died. Its wings were just broken, but it was alive. And quite detached at that. Still in a beautiful form.
And then she got angry.
Why didn’t she grab her and ask? Why didn’t she beg to clear up this misunderstanding? When she could be the only salvation.
Why. Just why.
Watching Arsena, who didn’t look at her even while sunk in an inescapable cesspool, Rosalyn’s anger only grew. How much deeper into the mire would she have to sink before those blue eyes would look at her?
The criticism towards Arsena only grew louder. Despite the gag order, even the servants in the Count’s mansion pointed fingers at Arsena.
An ungrateful thing. A dirty thing.
There was no guilt. She had just done nothing, as usual. After all, it wasn’t Rosalyn who had committed the sin. But even as the criticism grew darker day by day, Arsena didn’t seek her out.
Why. Just why.
She even thought she’d rather be Morpheus. Because when he dragged Arsena into the Room of Repentance for reasons even she found hard to understand, those jewel-like blue eyes would ripple greatly. Regardless of what emotion that was.
Yes. Morpheus would soon leave. To inherit his uncle’s title of Duke, he had to depart for his knightly service. When that time came, Arsena would be hers. With Father gone to tend to the territory and not returning, and Mother busy taking care of Felita, she was certain that when the time came, no one could stop her. Rosalyn waited for the moment like waiting for a jewel to be crafted.
It didn’t take long. Morpheus left earlier than expected. God had once again granted her wish.
As soon as Morpheus disappeared, Rosalyn pulled Arsena out of that damp garden and placed her by her side. If she couldn’t have the kind older sister she wanted, she would just make one. Rosalyn thought with childish selfishness.
And so, 10 years passed.
It had been exactly 10 years since Arsena entered the Count’s mansion. Now Arsena was like a maid who took care of all sorts of chores and attended to Rosalyn by her side.
No, she belonged nowhere. Because she used the name Katarini, she couldn’t mix with anyone. A noble yet lowly aristocrat. Arsena was always alone, as always.
“Why did you come alone, nanny? Where’s sister?”
“She said she’s heating up the washing water. But what are you looking for?”
The nanny quickly changed the subject at Rosalyn’s sharp voice from early in the morning. In response to the nanny’s question, Rosalyn threw the pillow she was lifting onto the floor.
“My earrings.”
“The ones with rubies?”
“Yes. They’re gone.”
The nanny’s mouth went dry at Rosalyn’s demand as she plopped down on the bed.
A situation she had experienced countless times before. Never once had it ended well. Since that day, Rosalyn, who had become particularly sensitive about her jewels, would turn the whole house upside down and blame innocent servants if she couldn’t find something she had lost. Not long ago, when a brooch disappeared, a young maid’s wrist was almost cut off. If Arsena hadn’t found it… The nanny’s eyes squeezed shut at the memory that was chilling even to imagine.
“It must have been that maid girl who took it back then. That’s why I told you to only let sister into this room!”
Even though she had lost her memory, theft – and daring to steal Rosalyn’s jewels at that – made the Countess frown at keeping Arsena by her side, but the nanny thought differently. Having watched Rosalyn most closely since nursing her, she couldn’t help but know.
The nanny remembered Rosalyn’s pale face after hearing Arsena’s story when she woke up from her fever. Five years old. It was the same face she had when desperately trying to hide the stained bed sheet. More intent on covering up her mistake than regretting it. It wasn’t an expression she could forget even as years passed.
