That Lady’s Stalker - Chapter 30
995th Year of the Empire, February
“……”
Growing my hair out was no easy task, as it proved far more challenging than I had anticipated. The discomfort was relentless. The constant annoyance of hair poking at my eyes made my irritation bubble up. No matter how many times I brushed it aside, it always fell back down to torment me.
“It seems it’s time for you to cut your hair. Shall I prepare for that?”
The elderly aide spoke to me as the meeting had just ended. Was my hair truly that inconvenient for others? I wanted to nod in agreement, but I held back. It was still cold outside.
“No.”
He gave me a brief, puzzled look before leaving the tent. I could hear him muttering softly as he walked away, but I chose to ignore it.
“Is growing your hair out the latest trend? Strange…”
“……”
He, being older and no longer feeling the cold, couldn’t understand. I, on the other hand, took the mirror from the corner of the tent, where it had been carelessly discarded, and gazed at my reflection.
The unruly hair that now covered my ears looked foreign to me. Since being appointed as commander, I had always kept my hair short.
I gathered a handful of the wild hair and pulled it, stretching it out. I still couldn’t judge how long long hair was supposed to be. Was it to the shoulder? To the back? Either way, it felt so distant.
A sigh escaped my lips.
It had taken me months just to grow it to this length. But if I wanted it to reach my back, how long would that take? I squeezed my eyes shut. I would endure. After all, it was still cold.
995th Year of the Empire, May
After a series of large battles, the war entered a temporary lull. Seizing the opportunity, I made my way to the capital.
“What’s this about? You never listened when I told you to come up before.”
“I’m here to report…”
My brother gave me a scoffing laugh, as if he had seen it all. He didn’t believe me, but it was the truth.
“You’re growing your hair out too. Could it be…?”
“It’s because it’s cold. I heard long hair is better for warmth.”
At my words, he glanced down at his shirt sleeves, which were rolled up to his elbows.
“It’s spring now.”
“I’m still cold.”
He now eyed my attire. Just like him, I had rolled up my sleeves to my elbows, but the uncomfortable feeling made me hastily lower them. He still didn’t believe me, but once again, it was the truth. I was still cold.
While I was in the capital, I took a walk through the streets. I wandered past the central lake, heading toward the large plaza with the enormous clock tower.
Unlike the frontline of the war, this place felt peaceful. It was clear that the war hadn’t been big enough to make the citizens feel a sense of crisis; everyone seemed full of energy.
I wondered if she was the same. Was her face still as bright as ever, with no hint of shadow? If so, I thought, I would wish for nothing more.
I wanted to see that neat face again. I wanted to see it as I had before, even if it was just by chance, like when we brushed past each other. Without realizing it, my steps took me toward the street where I had seen her.
And then, suddenly, a thought stopped me in my tracks. I had wanted to empty myself of everything and become my brother’s sword. It was my brother and my mother who had made me capable of being even a semblance of a person.
But now, could I fill this empty space with someone other than my brother?
The once-clear sky began to darken again, turning into a dull gray. It seemed like rain would soon pour down. I rolled up my sleeves again, feeling that it was time to stop this. I had to go.
Back to where I belonged.
This wasn’t like me. Why had I even come here? Who was waiting for me? The stares from those around me, sharp and accusatory, silently scolded me.
How dare you try to embrace her, you have no conscience. You shouldn’t be doing this. Turn back.
I hesitated, taking a step back. My hair once again stabbed painfully at my eyes. I had to leave. I would cut my hair again, empty myself again. I turned to go.
But once more, her face appeared, and despite all my resolve, my body moved on its own. My head turned to follow her, and the sky, almost as if in response, cleared up.
A flash of intuition struck me, and I inwardly sighed.
Ah, I won’t be able to empty myself. Not ever. Not until the day my life ends.
I closed my eyes and let the warm sunlight pour over me.
997th Year of the Empire, April
As expected, I couldn’t bring myself to cut my hair. And so, I continued to make occasional trips to the capital, walking the streets. For one reason alone. To see her.
In the meantime, the Kingdom of Hyrin gradually lost its power and eventually declared surrender. My once unruly hair had grown long enough to fall past my shoulders, reaching my back. It had become perfect long hair.
“Asher, well done. I’ll hold a feast in your honor.”
“It’s not over yet. We still need to keep an eye on the Kingdom of Dune.”
I wasn’t thrilled. I mentioned the Kingdom of Dune on purpose.
“I know it’s precarious, but you need to rest too. I’ve already stationed additional forces there, so you can rest for a while.”
“……”
“Attend the feast. And find a pretty young lady to charm. That’s the point of the banquet after all.”
Who would welcome me? It was all just a waste of time.
997th Year of the Empire, April 18th
As expected, everyone was too busy avoiding me. I was out of place in this magnificent setting. But even so, I had come into this light, unable to resist, because of her.
Olivia Flonari, always so bright and beautiful. It was because of her.
I couldn’t indulge myself in watching her. If anyone noticed my feelings, she too would become caught up in the bad rumors, and my filth would inevitably taint her as well.
