The Abandoned and Terminally Ill Lady Married a Monster - Chapter 16
Chapter 16
‘At least I wasn’t kicked out. But is this really something to be grateful for?’ ‘What am I? Why was I even born?’ ‘Why didn’t I notice Lane putting the pendant in the vase?’ Could she have prevented this if she had? ‘Why did I tell Lane and Lizzy I wasn’t interested?’ She should have just frowned and teared up as usual. She shouldn’t have been defiant, she should have been obedient.
Her deceased grandfather’s words, spoken a year ago, echoed in her mind. He’d always said it whenever she angered him: Obedience is a virtue. Obedience is a virtue. Obedience is a virtue…
‘Because I wasn’t obedient… Because I acted that way, even though I’m useless and have no redeeming qualities… It’s all my fault…’
The unswept shards of porcelain filled her vision. ‘Is this really all my fault?’ She reached out to touch a piece, not intending to do anything in particular. Or so she thought.
But perhaps she had been deceiving herself, harboring some hidden intention. The moment she registered what she held in her hand, she recoiled in shock, flinging the shard away. A chill ran down her spine. ‘…No, maybe it’s right for someone like me to just disappear.’
The shard landed on the floor with a pathetic clatter, followed by a suffocating silence. Her ears rang as if she were deep underwater. Staring blankly at the scattered pieces, she slapped her cheeks lightly, trying to regain her focus. ‘Get a grip.’ But as she continued to slap herself, her vision blurred again. She couldn’t find a reason to pull herself together.
As she stared at the broken pieces, they began to resemble the color of her own skin. It was as if she herself was shattered and scattered on the floor, half-melted into the earth like a dead, forgotten human. The question lingered: Why should she pull herself together? There was no one to impress anymore.
‘Mother…’
A quiet answer arose from within, responding to the question of who she had been trying to impress. Mother? Father? But it was all pointless now. The heat in her palms intensified. The carefully constructed facade had crumbled, revealing the desolate reality beneath. The foolish notion that she could earn even a sliver of affection through her efforts, by being a good, obedient child, now mocked her.
It wasn’t as if she hadn’t known all along that her efforts were futile. ‘Give up. No one is waiting for you.’ A deceptively comforting voice whispered, insidious as a demon. She didn’t even know where the voice was coming from.
‘No, I…’
She had tried to prove her worth, but she couldn’t. The truths she had buried resurfaced, shaking her to the core. She frantically shook her head, refusing to acknowledge them. She didn’t want to face the reality that she had been abandoned by everyone long ago.
Despair clung to her ankles like a sticky mire. She knew there was nothing she could do by dwelling on it, so she forced herself to look away. She had to think of something else, anything else. Or, as she always did, lose herself in a book.
Staring blankly, not at a book, not at the empty air, but somewhere in between, a flicker of memory ignited. There was someone else she needed to impress. There was a reason she couldn’t afford to fall apart like this. Searching for that reason, she finally remembered what had happened earlier that day.
‘Oh, Kin.’
‘Kin said he’s coming tomorrow. Get a grip, Ailee.’
Her unfocused gaze sharpened. ‘I can’t let my friend see me like this. We just became friends today. My first friend. I have to show him my best side so he’ll stay friends with me for a long, long time.’ ‘That’s right. I have Kin now. My new friend.’
She rose from the floor and headed for her bed, leaving the scattered shards of the vase where they lay. She threw herself onto the dusty, worn mattress. Only then, lying down, did the stinging pain in her palm register. Pushing aside the clinging fear, she focused on Kin, refusing to dwell on anything else.
***
Daykin decided to follow his mother’s advice. He looked at the small bracelet in his hand. An amethyst, the color of Ailee’s eyes, was nestled sweetly in the metal.
‘I wonder if she’ll like it.’
Because he’d been in such a hurry, all he could find were pre-made pieces. Of those, this bracelet seemed to suit her best. “When are you planning to give it to her? Why not have something custom-made? You have enough allowance. Is her birthday really that soon?”
He pressed his lips together, silent. He wanted to give her a gift to show his gratitude, but for some reason, whenever he tried to speak, embarrassment choked his words. Minerva was right. He could have had a bracelet specially made. He didn’t need to rush. He could casually give it to her later, saying he’d gotten it for her birthday. But Daykin was anxious. He couldn’t bear to wait until he knew what she liked.
He didn’t understand his own urgency, but he felt he had to give it to her now. He felt a sense of unease, as if her house might vanish, taking her with it, if he didn’t. He told himself it was simply the burden of an unpaid debt, or the guilt of knowing her birthday and pretending he didn’t. Minerva pursed her lips, trying not to laugh.
‘He’s so eager to give her something.’ She could see exactly what was going on in that little head of his.
