The Abandoned and Terminally Ill Lady Married a Monster - Chapter 21
Chapter 21
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“Thank you. That was comforting.”
“It wasn’t comfort, it was the truth. Don’t you trust me?”
“Yes, I do.” ‘Perhaps even more than I trust myself. It’s strange, we’ve only met twice. You’re more trustworthy than people I’ve known my whole life.’ The thought was bittersweet, but I kept it to myself.
“I’m sorry for yelling earlier.”
“No, I… I’m more sorry.” Kin stammered an apology in return. “Um, could you maybe move back a little now? We’ve been really close this whole time…”
‘Oh.’
I hadn’t noticed, but we were indeed far too close. Our noses were practically touching.
Kin blushed, embarrassed. Just like yesterday, he was more easily flustered than I’d thought. I quietly moved back.
“You’re surprisingly shy.”
As Kin stood, he seemed to bristle, his eyes narrowing. “You think you’re the only one who gets shy?!”
‘Me? Am I shy?’ I considered this for a moment. ‘You seem to be the shy one.’ My thoughts must have been written all over my face, because Kin’s expression didn’t soften.
“Do you, do you… do you get this close to everyone? Even when it’s not me?” He sounded as indignant as if I’d stolen a lifelong friend. And yet, we’d only met twice.
I blinked, my eyes still stinging from crying. “No. This is a first for me, too.”
“….”
“It’s strange, but it feels right with you. I’m comfortable with you. I guess I really do like you!”
Kin’s mouth snapped shut. I’d only met him twice, but he was a truly enigmatic person. Not that I disliked that, but he was simply… unreadable. He stared at me for a moment, then mumbled, “…Then it’s fine.”
“Should I not do it, then?”
“No. Who said not to?”
‘Then why didn’t you just say so in the first place?’ I wanted to pout, but seeing Kin’s face, I couldn’t help but giggle.
Now that the tension had dissipated, a forgotten hunger gnawed at me. Lunch should have arrived at noon. It was already three o’clock. The maids were often busy and frequently forgot about me, so this was nothing new. Still, I’d be mortified if my stomach growled in front of Kin. I decided to preempt the embarrassment.
“Kin, I’m hungry.”
“At this hour? You haven’t eaten yet?”
“No. I think the maid forgot.” I added, “My stomach might growl soon.” Kin’s face crumpled again.
‘He doesn’t like the idea of my stomach growling. What should I do? Tensing my stomach usually helps quiet it down.’
“Are you really not going to come to my house?” He was at it again.
I smiled at the ever-so-kind Kin. ‘Even blood relatives abandon me like this. How can you be so sure you won’t do the same?’ Just because I saved you doesn’t guarantee the future.
Memories fade and crumble. It was terrifying to rely on something so uncertain. Even if I had an ability, I couldn’t prove it. I couldn’t depend on just him, even if it was better than living here in the Count’s house.
He was undoubtedly kind. But I’d learned early on that survival was a different matter entirely.
‘Besides, what if Kin’s family dislikes me? What if their son brings home someone useless and suddenly asks them to live together?’ They might be pleased to hear I saved their son. But that was just a possibility, not a certainty.
This familiar despair, this was it. Knowing I wouldn’t belong anywhere—that was the despair I knew so well.
I hated anything that wasn’t certain. But I also hated begging for a definite commitment. That would be cruel to both of us.
“I’m scared of anything uncertain. It’s not that I dislike you, I just… I just… Thank you for saying that, though.” I offered a bright smile as thanks.
Kin’s pupils trembled, then his eyes lit up with understanding.
“So, if it were certain, you’d come with me?”
‘Is that what you meant?’ Unsure of his intent, I gave a noncommittal nod.
“Not now, but… years from now, if I come to you and ask for a certain relationship, will you accept?”
‘Will I even have anything to accept by then?’ I narrowed my eyes at Kin. His face was flushed, suspiciously so.
“Are you planning to propose?”
“W-Well, I mean… it’s a possibility.”
This skinny boy, the same height as me, proposing to me? He was naive now, but as time passed, he’d surely forget all about me and live his life happily. ‘Idiot.’ I tried not to laugh at him.
“Then I’ll accept.”
