The Baddest Villainess Is Back - Chapter 105
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“Roxelyn, Roxelyn… I was wrong, Roxelyn.”
A man, drunk on liquor, sat by a grave and muttered softly. His eyes, once as blue as the sky, were blurred by alcohol, his attire was a mess, and his low, muttering voice was filled with curses.
“…I kept looking for you.”
The man, Arma, whispered softly.
He didn’t love Roxelyn.
Or so he thought.
He considered her merely an interesting counterpart. Nothing more, nothing less.
Over time, he became proud, pleased that she showed weakness only to him.
“I didn’t want to become the Emperor.”
That was all.
The man, born of the bloodline that upheld this nation, had not received the love of the sun, losing even the warmth of his mother’s embrace…
Thus, he was unable to love anything.
Arma wanted to escape by cowardly means because he couldn’t love anything in this country.
Through death.
No, by pretending to be dead.
“……”
He gently stroked the tombstone, which had turned a different color on one side due to his constant touching.
One cannot inherit the throne if dead.
Though it sounded ridiculous for him to say, Arma believed there was no one else suitable to take the throne but himself.
The Second Prince was hot-tempered and not very intelligent, while the First Prince was somewhat calm and smart but far inferior to Arma.
His father, the previous Emperor, knew this too. He knew but did not stop Arma, even though he was the only person in the palace who could see through him.
Or perhaps, knowing his inner thoughts, he chose not to grant it.
It was better to pass the throne to someone somewhat incompetent but who loved the country, rather than someone with no intention of looking after it.
“Little brother.”
“Yes.”
“If you have no intention of inheriting the throne, then die. You’re an obstacle.”
In other words, an order to be exiled.
An order to lay down the imperial family name and leave.
And that was the only mercy the dying Emperor, affected by the war, could afford.
The First Prince was referred to as a promising Crown Prince, but he had many shortcomings.
And to make up for those deficiencies…
His father quietly killed all those with a right to succession, except for the Second Prince, who had no interest in the throne.
Yes.
It was necessary for Arma to ‘pretend to be dead’.
‘…But I could have told her.’
He could have been honest with her and said he would definitely find her if she was somewhere.
His father would have turned a blind eye to that extent.
Then she wouldn’t have had to run around bearing such a stigma, living as if holding her breath…
There was no need for her to die.
‘It was my choice to live like this…’
But it hurt you.
‘It shouldn’t have mattered…’
He thought he didn’t love her.
Just a slightly familiar toy, he thought.
A toy that, although not honest and somewhat annoying, slowly opened up its heart only to him, making it pleasant to watch, akin to a friend.
A being he could let go of anytime if told to do so.
So, if they parted…
“I thought it would be okay.”
Thump—
The softly muttering man violently hit his head against the gravestone made of solid marble.
[Roxelyn Bellion]
As he moved, the engraved letters on the gravestone became clearly visible.
“But it wasn’t.”
It wasn’t alright.
“It wasn’t alright at all, Roxelyn.”
At first, it was okay.
Because he had to sort out his life as ‘Arma’ and acquire a new position to reorganize the organization.
There was a lot to organize, and he was too busy to spare any thought for Roxelyn.
He did think of her from time to time, but he assumed that she was getting along fine.
Arma knew that Roxelyn held him in her heart, but she never acknowledged those feelings.
Not even once did she openly say she liked him.
Sometimes, when left alone, he reassured himself against pretentious worries that he would be fine.
So…
Surely, there was a childish part of him.
An arrogant part that wondered if she really would be okay without him.
