The Camellia Tattoo - Chapter 47
‧₊˚ ☁️⋅♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ☾.
this book is completely translated on luna kofi (advanced chapters for the website will follow)
Stricken with illness, Jean coughed up blood repeatedly. But once the coughing ceased, he carelessly threw the blood-stained handkerchief onto the floor and stood upright, a display of his resolve not to let anyone know of his ailment.
“Kuhm, I didn’t expect to receive compliments when I came to apologize… I’m relieved to learn that you truly care for the North, Madam. From now on, I will follow your commands just as I do the Duke’s.”
The fragments of the past faded, and the present Jean took their place.
He appeared slightly shy, still young… and healthy. A hint of playfulness could be seen in him.
“If there’s anything you need, please let me know!”
“I’d like to know how many doctors we have throughout the North.”
“I wasn’t expecting you to ask right away, kuhm. But I will find out.”
“There’s only one elderly doctor in the castle. This suggests we might have a shortage of medical professionals.”
Doctors are incredibly valuable. Amber wanted to gather all available doctors at the castle before the Phantom Breed appeared.
If an incident occurred, it was crucial to have doctors alive from the beginning to treat any injuries.
‘I need to organize a relief team.’
Despite warnings, some people inevitably ignore them.
But they too were the people of the North, and she wanted to save them if possible.
‘If the doctors are safe, we can send relief teams when the situation worsens.’
After discussing this, Amber and Jean engaged in light conversation, finishing their tea and clearing the snack plates.
Jean was more knowledgeable than Amber had anticipated, and by the end of their conversation, she felt somewhat pleased.
It was refreshing to talk about something other than mere survival. It had been a long time since she’d had such an opportunity.
And her conversation with Jean rekindled a deep longing in her.
‘Ah, I want to engage in salon conversations again. About the purpose of human existence, how humans should live, debating fiercely whether existence precedes essence…’
In her past life as a princess, Amber enjoyed philosophical conversations.
She would engage in debates with young scholars, discussing why humans are born, the relationship between God and humans, and why only humans seek deeper meaning and effort.
Though such discussions rarely provided concrete answers, in Shadroch, where even commoners read books, it was neither strange nor unusual for nobility and royalty to discuss philosophy. In fact, it was encouraged.
‘When all this is over, I’ll teach philosophy to my child.’
The next ruler of the North will learn strength from their father and critical thinking from their mother.
The child will be someone who, even while wielding a sword, ponders the origins and destinations of life.
As Amber walked down the corridor after parting with Jean, she suddenly clutched her chest in a secluded spot, staggering slightly.
‘It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay…’
She couldn’t breathe. Amber felt an overwhelming tightness in her chest, giving rise to a destructive urge to jump off somewhere.
Sometimes, the thought of her child would stir these emotions.
Recalling the tiny life that once nestled inside her, she would oscillate between feeling like nothing and being overwhelmed that she just wanted to die.
‘I might be going mad slowly, probably.’
That’s why she so desperately wanted a baby.
But at the same time, Amber knew the terrible cycle that would repeat if she became pregnant.
Nidhogg would come to kill the baby.
Why would such an innocent, unborn life deserve such a fate!?
“Amber?”
It was then, amidst her emotional turmoil, that a soft voice called from behind her.
“What’s this, are you still not well? I heard you were looking for a doctor. Let me see you.”
A man quickly approached and supported her. Amber forcibly gathered her emotions and managed a smile within a few seconds. It was an impressively quick recovery.
However, Igmeyer frowned, observing her face intently.
“Why are you smiling like that?”
“It’s nothing serious. I just suddenly missed home, that’s all.”
“Then you should cry, not smile.”
“I’m not used to crying.”
Amber replied gently and straightened up.
The tumultuous feelings about the baby had to be buried deep inside again. It wasn’t the time to bring them out.
At least not until Nidhogg had been dealt with, and successfully so. After that… only then.
Igmeyer scrutinized Amber disapprovingly but did not pry further, instinctively sensing that this was not a matter to be easily prodded.
‘I need to thoroughly question Jean about what exactly they talked about.’
Igmeyer carried the princess to the bedroom.
Amber had been bedridden for three days. He had come to take her for a walk, thinking she was feeling better today, but seeing her pale and drawn face, he decided it would be better for her to rest.
“Rest now.”
“Thank you, Igmeyer.”
“Don’t mention it. If we go for a walk now, you might catch a cold again. Why is this weather so persistently cold?”
Nilfheim was currently in the middle of winter. But rather than feeling cold, Igmeyer even felt a little hot during the day.
