The Camellia Tattoo - Chapter 98
‧₊˚ ☁️⋅♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ☾.
this book is completely translated on luna kofi (advanced chapters for the website will follow)
“The mood is nice, I hate to spoil it, but… Amber. I don’t want children at all.”
“…!”
Seeing the shock etched on her smiling face, Igmeyer felt a pang of guilt.
“I shouldn’t even say this, but… I didn’t want you to think you were infertile.”
“What do you mean…?”
“I’ve been taking contraceptives. When I came of age, the previous duke insisted I start them to avoid unexpected heirs.”
The sun set, the last rays of the sun disappeared, and unwanted darkness fell.
Amber was somewhat relieved it had gotten dark, making it easier to hide her expression.
‘Then what was that supposed pregnancy about?’
While shocked that Igmeyer had been secretly taking contraceptives, she didn’t feel utterly betrayed.
At least this meant he wouldn’t have illegitimate children popping up everywhere.
Plus, with the Nidhogg issue unresolved, there was no bad feeling about it.
But his blunt refusal to have children was hurtful.
Words could be so delicate, yet he didn’t need to be that harsh. He could have simply said he was unsure.
Sensing her disappointment, Igmeyer added,
“I’ve never wanted children, ever since I was young. Not then, not now… And I don’t want to burden your body with it either.”
“I’m fine, Igmeyer. I might not be able to have many, but….I’d like just one.”
Wanting to continue one’s lineage is a natural human desire.
Though she replied calmly, tears threatened to spill, and Amber quickly looked down.
“I’m sorry, Amber.”
“…”
“I still don’t want kids. At least you don’t have to give birth.”
Indeed, as he said, she had never experienced childbirth.
Amber clenched her mouth shut from that moment, overwhelmed by emotion.
The silence that fell between them was unbearably uncomfortable, but…she didn’t want to break it first. What was the point in speaking to someone who wasn’t listening?
She did not want to hear the words ‘I don’t want children’ ever again.
Apologizing to the unborn child whose gender she never knew, she felt an urge to claw at her heart in anguish.
‘You don’t know, that’s why…’
What the baby meant to her.
Yet, Amber had to understand that Igmeyer ‘didn’t know’.
It was unfair to blame him for things from before her regression, for things he couldn’t possibly understand.
‘Still…it hurts.’
She decided not to speak. Just suppress it, bear with it.
Endure, endure, and perhaps one day Igmeyer might change.
‘Think about it. He’s still so young. It’s understandable he doesn’t want children yet.’
Trying to understand him somewhat eased her feelings.
This was how Amber had changed. Instead of immediately reacting with anger or dissatisfaction, she tried to see things from his perspective.
Igmeyer was just young. That was all.
‘Someday, he might change his mind. That’s why I could have been pregnant.’
She decided not to push or nag. Amber consoled herself, applying medicine to her wounded heart.
It hurt, but she didn’t want to engage in self-destructive behavior.
Perhaps even this mature attitude was something Igmeyer had fostered in her.
“Let’s talk about this some other time.”
After a long internal deliberation, Amber managed to handle the situation maturely.
The real issue at hand was whether North could truly become self-sufficient through the ski games.
* * *
Thus, they returned home without a major fight.
Cyprus Mountain was very suitable for ski games, and they had roughly figured out how to construct the facilities. Now, all that was left was to discuss and solidify these plans with Jean.
However, the castle seemed unsettled upon their return.
Amber could read immense worry in the eyes of the servants looking at her.
‘What? What’s going on?’
As she entered the castle, Nora, who had been anxiously pacing at the entrance, immediately rushed over, her cute face brimming with tears.
“Madam! You’re, you’re here now….!”
“Nora. What is it?”
Behind her, Huvern and Betty appeared, both looking particularly pale.
Given that even these typically stoic individuals were visibly shaken, it was clear something had happened.
Huvern approached with a grim expression and whispered so that both Amber and Igmeyer could hear.
“We have an unwelcome visitor. And since the priests are protecting them, we couldn’t simply turn them away.”
“The priest?”
“It’s a woman…. pregnant. They insist on protecting her until she gives birth safely, claiming it is God’s will.”
Amber needed to be informed about guests. So, Huvern made sure both were briefed.
“And Jean?”
“He says there’s no immediate solution.”
Igmeyer calmly looked for his aide first. He checked that the problem was indeed beyond Jean’s capacity to solve.
A problem that couldn’t be resolved at Huvern’s or Jean’s level.
Was it truly a coincidence that such a troublesome issue arose now, during the time when Nidhogg was calm?
