The Guide Played Her Role as a Stand-in a Little Too Well - Chapter 168
Did he come to see me when I collapsed at that time?
“Even if Lord Hedonia hadn’t gone on a rampage that day, your strength was almost depleted. You were going to collapse no matter what.”
But that explanation wouldn’t be possible without seeing a doctor directly.
“But you kept guiding us until the end, despite how harshly I treated you.”
…I had made that choice to survive, but hearing Esban’s perspective on my actions felt strange.
“All the prejudices and biases I had about you became a source of deep shame for me.”
It seemed he had done some serious self-reflection.
If he used to be an immature young master, he now seemed like a soft, fluffy puppy.
“…I know you don’t like me much.”
I was genuinely taken aback by his next words.
I must have made it quite obvious…
Why is he bringing this up now?
“Considering how I’ve behaved, it’s only natural.”
Esban mumbled, his face flushing as he ruffled his hair. His face, now deeply reddened, was full of emotion.
The more I talked with Esban this time, the more I realized how thick a mask he had been wearing.
The Esban I had known was just a shell; the real person underneath was more like this boy I was seeing now.
“Lord Esban, even so―”
He cut me off, perhaps not wanting to hear what I had to say.
“…So, I want to tell you why I had to act that way…”
Esban cautiously met my gaze, his eyes trembling. It was a look I hadn’t seen even when we first met.
The reason he had to wear a mask and look down on me.
“So that maybe you’d understand me a little and see me as a more complete person…”
There’s an instinct people have.
“How you choose to take it is up to you.”
Esban looked at me with determined eyes, as if he had made up his mind.
‘…This feels ominous.’
Something deeply ingrained in human instinct was signaling to me.
This was a very important secret.
A secret I shouldn’t dare to hear.
I quickly intervened.
“Lord Esban, maybe you should reconsider what you’re about to say.”
“Why?”
“It’s dangerous. I might tell someone else… and that would obviously put you in a difficult position.”
“I know you won’t.”
But my efforts were futile. Esban’s voice, filled with certainty, left me speechless.
“I know you’re not that kind of person, Karina.”
Esban must have thought I hadn’t fully grasped his words because I stood there silently. He reiterated with emphasis.
‘…I’ve been acknowledged.’
If we had gotten along well from the start, I wouldn’t feel this overwhelming emotion now.
But Esban used to dislike me. And to that person, I had shown my true self.
Knowing that revealing my true self had changed Esban filled me with pride.
This is why I missed the timing to stop Esban from speaking.
His timing was impeccable.
“I come from the same background as you, Karina.”
His words left me blinking in disbelief.
“I think I must have misheard….”
“I was only adopted by the Cairoze family. I had no real ties there. I was just lucky. We are quite the same.”
Esban’s initially strained expression began to relax as he spoke more. It was odd to see him grow calmer while sharing such a heavy secret.
It made me realize just how heavy a burden he had been carrying.
‘Is this real?’
That didn’t mean I took his words at face value immediately.
The Esban I knew was, after Hedonia, the most aristocratic person I had ever met. He spoke about lineage and epitomized nobility when we first met.
And he wasn’t a noble?
‘This is an unexpected backstory.’
…I vividly remembered how distant Esban was with Christopher.
I had thought it was just shyness, but was it because he knew he wasn’t really a Cairoze by blood?
“I was afraid from the moment I met you.”
“…Because you were worried I would discover your true identity?”
Realizing I couldn’t stay silent any longer, I finally spoke. Esban, who had been speaking tentatively, looked at me and nodded.
“Yes.”
He forced a smile and whispered in a low voice.
“…I didn’t want to go back there again.”
A place where finding food each day was a battle and where he couldn’t even clean himself properly.
When I realized I had been reincarnated into the body of a villainess, knowing I might die like the original Karina, I still took on the role and amassed assets.
“Because I wanted to survive.”
It felt like looking into a mirror.
