The Guide Played Her Role as a Stand-in a Little Too Well - Chapter 71
Maybe because It hadn’t been long since I’d spoken with Esban, I’ve seemed noticeably odd.
‘I find myself constantly aware of Hedonia’s actions.’
There’s no denying it anymore.
At this point, I had to admit that I harbored feelings for Hedonia.
‘…Though I’m not sure how deep my feelings are.’
It’s not without reason that he’s the male lead.
Even knowing it shouldn’t be this way.
There’s the male leads and the female leads; but his kindness towards me is intoxicating.
When he interacts with ordinary people, he shows a different side.
‘It makes me feel like I’m special.’
And yet, I know it might not last.
‘Now, I don’t even need to be brainwashed to find him adorable.’
I was supposed to keep my distance—something I had resolved just the other day…
But it wasn’t surprising, really.
Perhaps a part of me always knew this day would come.
Admitting my feelings doesn’t mean our relationship will change.
I’m well aware that anything more between us would be incredibly difficult.
Above all, the hurdles we’d need to overcome are immense.
‘My own issues are a significant part of that.’
Maintaining a deep relationship is difficult for me.
I’m accustomed to relationships that I can start and end at will.
The comfort of familiarity. I like the security of not getting hurt.
‘…Should I?’
I pondered.
It was because I saw Hedonia’s eyes, longing for me.
It was inevitable.
At the mansion, always filled with Robert’s people, wasn’t he the first time I met someone who was on my side?
It seemed natural that he, a grown man, would be drawn to me.
But now I realize one thing.
‘It might just be my misconception.’
Of course, even this could be wrong.
Hedonia might not actually like me; he might just really want to teach me.
Just like that kiss last time.
‘I should take it as he said.’
Reading his mind is impossible.
I can never become Hedonia.
Judging him by my standards is clearly wrong. I need to be clear about that.
‘I shouldn’t get my hopes up first.’
But apart from that sentiment, I still want this relationship.
There’s no particular reason.
‘Because I want to.’
I’ve generally pursued what I want.
Following my instincts.
Why would I refuse someone I’m attracted to, and even like, when they’re the ones suggesting it first?
‘Having a sexual relationship once doesn’t mean our relationship will drastically change.’
While I’m in ties with Robert, Hedonia should also manage ours nicely.
It didn’t seem like a problem to have a few encounters before I leave here.
That’s fine by me.
Just as Hedonia looks after his own desires, I should also tend to mine.
However, there was a very big problem with our situation.
Hedonia had not yet revealed his gender to me, a significant obstacle and their greatest secret in our relationship.
It seemed as though Hedonia had completely forgotten this fact while being with me.
Just as I had almost myself.
‘I’ve been too casually accepting Hedonia as a man.’
I took a deep breath and swallowed hard.
“Um… Lady Hedonia. There’s something I need to say.”
It was time to remind them.
“What is it?”
Hedonia asked in a somewhat anxious voice, waiting for my response with tension.
I pointed a finger at him.
“You are a woman.”
And then I pointed to myself.
“And I am a woman too.”
Hedonia blinked. It seemed he had just realized the situation we were in.
It appears that when one loses their composure, their mind stops working, as it does for anyone.
“Ah, that…”
Hedonia fumbled with his lips, displaying a flustered expression.
I was genuinely curious about what he would do next.
What would he say to me?
“Regardless of the kiss, I am heterosexual…”
I felt I had to explain the kiss first.
“Just a moment.”
As I was explaining myself, Hedonia raised his hand and interrupted me.
“Karina.”
“Yes.”
As if he had made a huge decision.
“…There’s something I need to reveal to you.”
“What is it?”
Though I knew very well what it might be, I played dumb.
“I’m actually…”
He loosened the robe he had been clutching and murmured in a low voice.
I thought I knew what he was going to say.
I stopped him first.
“If it’s a difficult secret, you don’t have to tell me.”
I was worried that he might regret this impulsive action after speaking.
At my words, Hedonia hesitated again.
But the hesitation didn’t last long.
“It seems better to speak when the opportunity arises, so I’ll say it now. If I keep thinking about it, I might never say it.”
Perhaps he decided that it would be much better to act the moment the thought came to him, rather than hesitating if he kept thinking about it.
If that’s what Hedonia thought, I wanted to respect that.
“Alright, please tell me.”
Hedonia took a deep breath.
“I’m actually…”
He mustered up his courage, but his voice still trembled, not yet steady.
He whispered quietly,
“I am a man.”
I knew this fact, but I had to think about how to respond.
He had just revealed a once-in-a-lifetime secret.