The Nanny of House Herzen - Chapter 28
Since he had married his cousin, even if the baby was not his legitimate child, she was definitely his niece. So perhaps he hadn’t wanted to kill the young lady after all.
Evelyn couldn’t understand why Carius had spared her life or why his broad shoulders looked so painfully burdened as he turned away.
She couldn’t assume it was because of her or that he was disappointed in her.
To him, she was just one of many servants, nothing more.
Lost in her thoughts, Evelyn returned to the young lady’s room. Inside, Johanson was sleeping peacefully, unaware of anything.
Unexpectedly, the head maid was waiting for her. She grabbed Evelyn’s hand tightly.
“How could you act so recklessly… Why didn’t you consult me first? Why did you do this?”
“I’m sorry…”
The head maid’s face crumbled into tears even sadder than Evelyn’s.
“He’s full of wounds, you know. You must be too, why wouldn’t you be? But how could you leave him so exposed… What harm has he ever done to you?”
Tears streamed down the wrinkles at the corners of her eyes.
‘Indeed.’
The head maid was right.
‘What had he done?’
He had sought her out, yes, but his touch was always gentle. In fact, she had wanted and welcomed his attention.
Instead of coming uninvited, Carius had waited for her to come to him. He had never hurt her, always calling her name with tenderness.
Yet what Evelyn had chosen to believe was the rumors about him.
Now, she wondered what rumors might be spreading about her.
‘The third wife of the Marquis died. She married for money and got her divine retribution. She died bearing a cursed child. The poor Marquis…’
That was probably what they were saying. Her former husband would degrade her name a hundred times if it would elevate his own.
People’s words are so easily swayed. Instead of remembering the kind voice that had called her name, she had trusted the idle talk of others.
As the head maid continued to pour out her grievances, she wept profusely.
Evelyn let the tears fall freely as she listened. She offered no excuses.
* * *
After the head maid left the room and Evelyn was left alone with the young lady, she could no longer bear it.
She couldn’t bear the thought of opening the door and seeing him sleepless in that room.
He had intended to have Johanson baptized, thinking it would please Evelyn. She had shattered the generous affection and care he intended to offer.
And yet shamelessly, she would expect it again. She would long for a love she could never dream of again.
Restless and unable to sleep, she got up in the dim light before dawn and reluctantly woke Johanson to feed her one last time.
“I’m sorry, Johanson. My baby…”
She whispered quieter than the sound of the wind. Johanson filled her stomach in her half-sleep and quickly fell back asleep.
Evelyn decided to leave again.
Holding the last five months of wages, she would leave Johanson, who he called his nephew. Now that she could eat baby food, she wouldn’t starve without her milk.
The Duke would no longer hold her back. If she didn’t take the child, there would be no reason for him to.
She slowly descended the stairs. There was nowhere left to hide as even the darkness had receded. She just walked through the early morning gloom.
At the iron gate she had knocked on for her life last summer, a guard flinched, perhaps unsettled by the previous night’s commotion.
However, it seemed he had received no orders to prevent Evelyn from leaving.
Evelyn nodded slightly to the guard in greeting and then, like smoke carried away by the wind, she quietly slipped away from the grand mansion.
She decided to go far, far away, as the Duke had wished.
* * *
She headed in the opposite direction of the reed forest she had risked her life crossing.
As she walked aimlessly, fortunately, a carriage passed by.
“Excuse me…!”
Evelyn ran after the carriage in a hurry.
Luckily, the coachman was not unkind. He stopped the carriage and asked,
“What’s the matter?”
“Where are you headed?”
He mentioned a place unknown to Evelyn, saying he was going to deliver timber there.
Evelyn decided to pay a little and secured a ride on the carriage. The coachman seemed uneasy even after making the decision.
“It’s a cargo wagon, so it’ll be quite bumpy…”
“I’m fine with it. I won’t forget this kindness.”
She rode in the carriage all day.
The destination was a village she had never seen before. Evelyn gave the coachman a slight nod.
“Thank you so much.”
“Take care.”
As the sun set and the sky darkened, she found herself alone with nowhere to go.
After debating dozens of times whether it would seem strange for a lone woman to ask for a room, she had no choice but to look for an inn.
“Do you have….any rooms available?”
“How long will you be staying?”
The innkeeper seemed indifferent to whether Evelyn was a man or a woman as long as she paid.
If she had known this, she would have left sooner. She should have tried leaving before reaching Herzen, or even left from the Marquis…from Vyche.
She easily got a room.
Evelyn had never stayed in an inn before.
Entering the small room, she looked at herself in the mirror. Wearing the dead Duchess’s dress and her neatly pinned-up blonde hair, she looked every bit a southern noblewoman.
