The Nanny of House Herzen - Chapter 80
Johanson was probably repeating words she had heard from the head maid. Carius tried hard to suppress another laugh.
“Really? How did Johanson get to be so wise?”
Johanson proudly straightened her shoulders.
“I’m Big Sister, I know. I’ll tell Fritz later, too, don’t worry.”
“Wow, that’s impressive.”
Carius praised her, lifting her up.
“But you know what, Father thinks our amazing big sister’s birthday is coming up soon.”
Johanson’s face lit up.
“You know? It’s the day after tomorrow!”
“Of course, I know.”
Carius smiled wryly, recalling the difficult summer when Johanson was born.
Remembering how harsh he had been to this little girl, how close he had come to committing a grave sin, still sent chills down his spine. The only relief was that Johanson was too young to remember.
Of course, a person’s demeanor can change, and sometimes Johanson found her father intimidating.
But Carius had spent the past few years trying his best to be a loving father. If Johanson ever heard the story of how he almost starved her out of resentment, she would probably find it too absurd to believe.
As they headed towards the study, Johanson tilted her head curiously.
“Won’t I get in trouble if I go to Father’s work room?”
Carius chuckled. “It’s fine when you’re with me.”
Johanson’s eyes sparkled as the study door opened. Though it wasn’t a playroom filled with toys, it was a place she rarely got to enter, so it piqued her interest.
Carius set Johanson down by the door, then retrieved a long box from near the window. The box was bigger than Fritz, and Johanson’s eyes widened.
“What’s this?”
“A birthday present for my daughter.”
Johanson excitedly tugged at the thick ribbon. As the wrapping fell away, it revealed a beautiful wooden box.
“Shall I open it for you?”
Johanson nodded eagerly, and Carius unclasped the latch and opened the box. Inside was a porcelain doll with dark hair.
The doll was stunning at first glance. Its ebony hair was neatly brushed and perfectly arranged, and its black eyes, set with what appeared to be real gemstones, were mesmerizing. The doll, resembling a little girl, was dressed in an elegant silk gown like those worn by nobles, complete with gloves and shoes.
“Wow!”
Johanson’s mouth dropped open in amazement.
“So, so pretty! Thank you, Father! She has dark hair like Fritz!”
Johanson hugged and examined the doll excitedly, even lifting the hem of its dress to peek underneath.
“Wow! She’s wearing a petticoat and bloomers just like me.”
Carius responded earnestly.
“Indeed, she’s a young lady as stylish and graceful as our Johanson.”
Pleased with his answer, Johanson hugged the doll tightly and jumped up and down. Then she asked,
“Can I dress her in clothes that match mine later?”
The wealthiest man in the kingdom after the king answered leisurely.
“Of course.”
“Yay! I have to show Mom!”
Johanson, momentarily forgetting that Fritz was sleeping, started to rush off but then stopped abruptly. She looked up at her father again.
“Father, does she have a name?”
Carius hesitated for a moment. He had intended to let Johanson name the doll. But then…
“Hestina.”
Looking down at his daughter clutching the doll, he answered.
“Hestina.”
Johanson repeated. The name of her biological mother was unfamiliar to her.
“It’s a very pretty name. The best present ever, Father!”
Johanson pulled Carius’ hand, urging him closer, and gave him a cheerful kiss on each cheek.
“Hestina, Hestina!”
Johanson couldn’t stay still for a moment, fussing over the doll. She gently stroked the doll’s lifelike hair with careful hands and asked,
“Hestina! I like you, do you like me too?”
Carius pressed his fist lightly against his chest to ease the growing heaviness there. The pain of his sister’s death, which he had never fully mourned due to his anger, suddenly felt excruciating.
Looking at Johanson while thinking of his sister, he spoke with a voice that threatened to break.
“Hestina loves our Johanson very much. She loves you more than she loves herself.”
And she protected you until the very end. Because of that, you, this tiny being, have created this family.
Now that Fritz was born, Carius could somewhat understand his sister’s feelings. Even when she was abandoned by her lover, she had foolishly tried to protect the baby in her womb.
Johanson could no longer contain her excitement and dashed out of the room. She immediately shouted with glee when she saw the head maid.
“Beth, Beth! Hestina came to me! She loves me so much! Aren’t you jealous?”
Beth, who had been smiling at the sight of the little lady, was taken aback when she heard the old mistress’s name. She then noticed her master standing with a pained expression.
Unable to ignore him, she approached cautiously.
“Master.”
At the sound of the maid’s call, Carius quickly masked his emotions with practiced ease.
He didn’t even glance at her, but Beth gave her master a warm smile. Then, she cautiously said what she had wanted to say for a long time.
“Miss Hestina has already forgiven you, Master.”
It was a presumptuous statement. She thought he might get angry, but to her surprise, he smiled.
“…Do you really think so?”
Beth nodded energetically.
“Yes, a long time ago, she forgave you.”
She bowed deeply to him. She knew how much he regretted the hatred he had harbored in his youth and how hard he tried to make amends by caring for Johanson. She no longer wanted to hold any resentment towards him, and she was certain Hestina felt the same way.
Beth soon disappeared after Johanson, but Carius stood there, staring down the empty hallway.
They had once played in this hallway together and had endured long, silent wars within its walls. His few family members were gone, never to walk these halls again. The ancient sorrow piled up in the empty corridor.
If he couldn’t stop it, he should have been kinder. He shouldn’t have been so angry. He should have told her that she had a healthy and beautiful daughter…that she would always be a part of the Herzen family, and that he would protect her until the end.
How long he stood there, he didn’t know. The space was filled only with silent regret until he heard the soft sound of a woman’s footsteps.
“Johanson said she received Hestina as a birthday gift?”
Evelyn seemed somewhat taken aback by his impulsive decision.
Carius, feeling guilty about not discussing it with her, tried to explain himself, but then he saw Evelyn’s eyes that were moist with happiness.
She reached out and cupped her husband’s forlorn face.
“You did well.”
Only then did Carius pull Evelyn into his arms. He buried his face in her slender neck, drawing in the solace and peace only she could give, and the love that enabled him to take one more step forward.
Stroking him as she would when praising a child, Evelyn whispered.
“I’m proud of you.”
Carius finally lifted his head. Their eyes met.
In the long aftermath of sorrow, the smile of his beloved spread warmth throughout the empty hallway.
