The Sub Male Lead is Burning with Jealousy - Chapter 4 Part 1
‘There was no need for us to sleep together tonight.’
The spot prepared by the lord was splendid. It was made to resemble a restaurant, where we had dinner with lanterns placed around the garden, and surrounded by flowers that bloomed brightly at night thanks to magical light.
After the meal, she drank tea on the bedroom balcony, looking down at the night view. Since they had to depart again for our travels the next day, she couldn’t drink wine.
It had been a tiring day, so she had no intention of sleeping. Naturally, she thought Rahil and her would use separate rooms, but the room prepared by the lord was only one.
Rahil wanted to share the bed with Anais, and as soon as he climbed into bed, he embraced Anais as if he had been waiting to do so.
‘Is this really okay?’
Rahil’s unhesitant attitude left Anais bewildered. Of course, after spending that night together, it was possible to ‘mistakenly’ think that Rahil liked holding her.
She hesitated for a moment as she felt Rahil’s breath so close to her, then closed her eyes. It was quite chilly at night as it was the beginning of autumn. Although she could have ordered the fireplace to be lit, Rahil’s muscular body was warm enough.
‘Is she asleep?’
Monitoring Anais’s breathing, Rahil sighed deeply. In fact, he had thought they could have been intimate even at night. He had restrained himself, though, as Anais’s claim of tiredness seemed genuine.
‘Why am I being like this?’
Whenever she was by his side, his heart fluttered as if it was a candle in the wind. If they touched, it felt good, and if not, he became eager to touch again.
Even though Anais said she didn’t want to because she was tired… she had almost asked if she should move to another room. Although she quickly changed her statement, her intention was clear.
‘If we really have child, nights like this won’t be possible.’
If she became pregnant, Anais would likely explain calmly the reasons why they should use separate rooms. Just the thought of it made Rahil’s heart feel as if it was tearing apart, wondering why he felt this way.
He hadn’t felt like this even when Angelica accepted Theodore’s confession.
Listening to Anais’s soft snores, Rahil was startled by a possibility. He had never experienced love at first sight. To fall in love with Angelica, it also included considerable steps. Initially, he didn’t even know Angelica was a girl.
‘No, that can’t be.’
What had he done in front of Anais, to think that such an oath could break so easily? The thought that his heart, which he believed was as solid and firm as steel, had shattered just by Anais’s scornful look, made Rahil feel fear before joy.
It couldn’t be.
It had to be impossible. Because, because there’s no way Anais could like me back. Not just because of that oath. Because the oath broke too easily.
‘Even if I say I love her, would Anais believe those words?’
Swallowed by a thought that sent a chill down his spine, Rahil caught his breath. He couldn’t trust his own heart, so asking Anais to believe in it was unreasonable.
Yet, there was no one else in the world who could shake his heart like she did. If he had met Anais before feeling love for Angelica, he would have never fallen in love with Angelica.
Rahil realized this during the night. It wasn’t their first night together, nor the day they made vows at their wedding ceremony, but the night he watched her sleep.
“A-Anais…”
Could you ever love me? Even on that night when he desperately sought to fill the emptiness within her heart, Anais seemed unmoved by him.
Even as she captured his reflection in her blue-tinted eyes, occasionally sending him a look of pity, there seemed to be no excitement in those eyes, which frightened him.
‘No, it can’t be. I loved Angelica so much…’
His feelings couldn’t have changed so easily. What he thought was the sun, Angelica, turned out to be a distant star, and the real sun appeared, swallowing his heart as soon as he realized it, leaving no trace of his feelings for Angelica.
No, that can’t be.
Rahil repeated this to himself in torment.
* * *
He thought he would spend the night wide awake. However, as he listened to Anais’s breathing, he eventually fell asleep. Rahil suddenly reached out for her in his sleep, realized her absence, and startled awake from the bed.
“Anais? Anais!”
Without realizing, he called out her name like a madman, and Anais, who had been on the balcony, came back into the bedroom.
“Your Majesty?”
He seemed half-asleep. Had he been a little more alert, he would have noticed the presence on the balcony and realized it was Anais. To panic simply because he couldn’t see her by his side….
Aware of his embarrassing behavior, Rahil nonetheless rushed over and embraced Anais tightly. Anais seemed startled by his forceful hug.
“Did you have a nightmare?”
“Ah… Yeah. Something like that.”
Rahil answered vaguely, gazing at Anais’s face. Perhaps because he thought he might be in love with her, Anais’s voice seemed to him like the sound of birds chirping.
‘No, that’s not right. Birds are noisy. I’ve never enjoyed the sound of birds…’
It was more like the sound of music, pleasant to hear. Even the movement of her lips was intriguing.
‘Shouldn’t I kiss her now?’
Anais had said she wanted her first kiss to be with a man who loved her. So, he entertained the selfish thought that it would be okay to kiss her. Though she had added ‘whom I also love’ after that statement, he wanted to ignore that part.
“I like the weather today. It seems we can depart as planned.”
“I LIKE too.”
“What do you like?”
Her question, asked in bewilderment, made Rahil’s face turn bright red. He had only heard the part about her ‘liking’ the weather and responded with ‘I like too,’ as if enchanted. When Anais questioned him, he nearly blurted out his feelings.
‘That was close!’
