The Sub Male Lead is Burning with Jealousy - Chapter 5 Part 4
To read or not to read?
Indeed, Sion understood a woman’s heart better than Rahil did. If Rahil had come to explain himself, she would have sent him away immediately.
Anais thought it strange for him to try to explain. Certainly, there must have been a reason, for example, to pretend harmony in front of the nobles. Perhaps, rumors linked to Angelica had spread because they returned from their honeymoon just a day after leaving.
If that was the case, Rahil would blame her. With a cold resolve, Anais opened the letter, curious about its content.
“….What is this supposed to mean?”
She considered crumpling the letter in frustration but read it again. It must be a lie. It can’t be true.
‘He fell for me at first sight? Ridiculous!’
He wrote that he hadn’t realized it when marriage discussions were happening. If he had to marry someone, it had to be Anais, he had a strong conviction.
At that time, he didn’t understand that this conviction stemmed from romantic feelings.
[…I knew I liked you, but I thought it was a feeling of wanting to be friends or colleagues. Despite finding you annoying, I wanted to see you and looked forward to our meetings.
That day. The night we first came together. Hearing you say you wouldn’t kiss me felt like my heart was breaking, and I was in pain.
Only then did I realize my feelings were not ordinary, and I started to doubt them. My feelings were clearly of liking and loving you, but, as you know, there were things I had done, so I denied my feelings and emotions.
Anais. The kiss I shared with you that day, my frequent requests for kisses, were expressions of my heart I couldn’t put into words.
I denied my feelings in confusion, but I know I was foolish. As you pointed out, I am in love with you.
I won’t ask you to understand the fear and confusion I tried to run from. I just wanted to say I am the man you wanted for your first kiss, and I’m sorry for lying…]
‘Lies! All lies! Don’t be fooled!’
Anais, who seemed about to crumple the letter then and there, ultimately couldn’t bring herself to do so and laid it down on top of the dresser. She wanted to immediately crumple it up, burn it, or tear it to pieces, but her gaze returned to the letter once more.
She picked it up and read it again.
‘Could it be true?’
She was angry at herself for wanting to believe it, annoyed by her softening harsh feelings.
Why am I so weak? The letter could be a lie, written by someone else on his behalf, or Rahil might not even know of its existence.
“…”
Suddenly, she wanted to confront Rahil with the letter and demand the truth. If he denied it, and she cried and became angry on the spot, it would indeed be a sight to see. It would be as if she were announcing to everyone around that she had been charmed by the Emperor.
Eventually, Anais decided to keep the letter instead of burning it. It might prove useful later when the Emperor makes annoying remarks, giving her the chance to confront him, asking what this letter was all about.
She pondered where to store it and eventually hid it inside a jewelry box in her desk drawer, as she disliked the idea of someone else stealthily reading it.
* * *
The flowers were delivered daily, each day a different kind, along with a letter. By the fifth day of receiving these flower gifts, Anais began her period and felt downhearted.
She had been certain of pregnancy after their first night together, but it turned out not to be the case. Since she did not show it outwardly, no one other than Mary knew that Anais was feeling upset.
And in the meantime, Rahil was arguing with Sion.
“Going there with a bouquet! How tacky!”
“But with all the other gifts received for the wedding, another gift wouldn’t stand out. Besides, we’ve already sent many jewels as bridal gifts.”
Sending Anais a huge amount of flowers was less about her fondness for them and more about the lack of alternatives. With rooms filled with unopened gifts, currently being inspected by mages, it seemed futile to add another jewel or dress to the pile, according to Sion and other aides.
However, Rahil protested with flushed cheeks.
“I’ve sent letters and flowers already! Showing up now with a bouquet seems childish!”
“What are you saying?! After sending flowers and letters that somewhat cooled Her Majesty’s anger, you must apologize in person! Haven’t you said you wished to see the Empress’s face?”
Sion tactfully did not point out that Rahil had secretly sneaked into the Empress’s palace to steal glances at Anais’s face, since there were other attendants around besides the aides.
“B-But still that’s!”
As Rahil’s face reddened further, Sion signaled the aides, who then dismissed the servants and left the room. Rahil, seeing the door close, spoke up.
“Writing in the letter that I… like her, love her, and then seeing her face would be embarrassing…”
“Don’t be embarrassed by something so heartwarming.”
“Do you think I want to do this! You forced me into this embarrassing situation!!”
The first two letters contained apologies for past wrongs, while the subsequent three were love confessions to Anais. Only the contents of the first two were known to Sion, as Rahil had threatened to kill him if he read the latter three.
“You won’t spend your life not seeing her, right? Sending flowers alone has its limits. The festival ended days ago, and the capital has quieted down… It’s a good time for the two of you to reconcile.”
“What if Anais rejects me?”
“Your Majesty has been rejected continuously. Rejected during your proposal, and countless times thereafter. Why worry about it now?”
Bang!
Rahil punched a nearby wall. Although he controlled his strength, the durable wall of the palace cracked.
