The Sub Male Lead is Burning with Jealousy - Chapter 5 Part 7
It was his fault, after all.
He was the one who had come to her first, even in the terrible situation he had created. It was he who had foolishly and cowardly run away first, but he couldn’t do the same this time.
“Like… like I wrote in the letters, I…”
Rahil attempted to confess his feelings, but Anais simply looked at him calmly. Instead of her heart racing, it settled.
‘So, he really did kiss me because he liked me.’
In fact, on that day, Anais had allowed the kiss not so much because her heart fluttered, but because she wanted to understand his feelings. His words and actions were so different that she didn’t know how to respond.
Reading the letters had somewhat lifted her spirits. The fact that their marriage was based on a pretense for another woman was hurtful enough to leave a lifelong scar.
Understanding the truth, her tangled thoughts began to untangle, forming a clearer judgment.
‘Maybe a little… excited.’
But she wasn’t really thrilled. Nor was she particularly happy.
Even if the facts were as they were, it was only a slight improvement from a miserable state, not that she had reached a happy situation. She was still married to a man she did not desire.
Moreover, he was the man who had made her miserable by citing another woman as the reason for their marriage. How could she possibly feel affection for him after he had only been kind over the past few days?
The emotion Anais felt towards Rahil was nothing more than a slight attraction due to his good looks. This feeling was too insufficient to be called camaraderie or even friendship.
“I…”
“Your Majesty.”
Anais shifted her gaze from the bouquet to Rahil. The scent of freesias was intoxicating, but her mood steadily sank.
“Sorry to interrupt, but may I speak first?”
Rahil seemed surprised by this. Although taken aback, he tried not to show it and nodded his head, his face bearing an expression of uneasiness as he gauged Anais’s reaction.
“Go ahead.”
She felt relieved inside. She stopped him just before Rahil could say something awkward. Even if he had confessed, she had nothing to say in return. What might have felt like a mere happening to Rahil was pain to Anais.
“I’ve been confused all along. Considering what you said before our marriage, I kept it in mind, but your words and actions were different…. I had to keep pondering your intentions.”
Rahil grew contemplative at her words. He had acted on impulse, never fully acknowledging his feelings, thus not considering how she might interpret them.
“Actually, I really wanted to understand what was truly in your heart. I kept asking myself why you acted the way you did, and I was worried that if I confronted you, you might challenge me by saying, ‘I didn’t intend it that way, why did you interpret it like that?’ Just in case…”
Anais looked directly at Rahil.
“I was afraid of hearing, ‘Isn’t it because you like me and misunderstood?’ Afraid of being blamed.”
Rahil blinked in surprise. On reflection, that was something he might have said if he had faced such accusations without being aware of his own feelings.
“Now that I understand why you acted the way you did, I think I can speak clearly.”
“What… what is it?”
He had a bad feeling. Anais’s grip on the bouquet seemed to tighten.
“After forcing me into marriage… What now?! After trampling on my pride by marrying me for another woman!!”
Choke.
“What about my wedding?! And the honeymoon! My first kiss!! And now you think saying you like me will make everything okay?!!!”
Tears of frustration and injustice overflowed. Recounting each grievance brought more sorrow. Rahil turned pale, unsure how to react.
“A-Anais…”
“I truly despise you! Who asked you to like me?! After ruining my life denying your own feelings! And now, you say you like me?! Those letters also must be written by someone else, aren’t they!”
“No… No! I wrote them! I swear to the heavens!”
“How can I believe that! Just watch! I will tear your heart apart just as much as mine has been hurt! I’ll make sure to bring in five consorts!”
Even in this situation, Rahil found himself thinking that her tearful blue eyes sparkling were beautiful, judging himself to be insane for thinking so. Moreover, he even found her declaration somewhat cute.
It hurts to say it, but he was the Emperor. Not an emperor who was used by the nobles with all power transferred to them, but one whose imperial authority was sufficiently strengthened.
Even if he had written a contract allowing Anais to choose her consorts without his approval, there were endless ways to obstruct it.
“I was wrong. The wedding… we can pick an appropriate day to do it again, and the honeymoon too….”
“What’s the use of doing that now! Even the proposal was the worst!!!”
Rahil, feeling utterly ashamed, broke out in a cold sweat. Anais, overwhelmed by the accumulation of her grievances, began to sob uncontrollably, creating a bizarre scene where Rahil stood in front of her, perplexed and unsure of what to do.
The palace staff murmured among themselves near the entrance of the garden, hearing the Empress’s cries, speculating that the Emperor must have caused some trouble again.
* * *
Until the moment of his almost confession, Rahil had been sweating with nervousness, but once his feelings were laid bare, he found the audacity to act shamelessly, encouraged by his other Aides.
“If Her Majesty truly harbored any grudge towards Your Majesty, she wouldn’t have openly shown her feelings like that.”
Sion didn’t need to spell it out for Rahil to understand. Anais was inherently kind-hearted, and seeing him hurt, he doubted she would follow through with her declaration of taking consorts.
Perhaps.
Now aware of his own feelings and having been exposed, Rahil decided to brazen it out.
