Towards the Winter Cabin of Serenity and Madness, Cinderella Runs - Chapter 149
The next day, the diligent mistress who managed the estate was nowhere to be seen, and the lord, who usually supervised the training of the knights and soldiers every morning, had also vanished.
The couple, who had been holed up in their room, finally reappeared the following afternoon.
A maid, who had brought their meal to the door, knocked cautiously. Just yesterday, the lord had commanded her to leave the food at the door, so she was hesitant to enter without a response.
Today, however, a faint voice invited her inside. When the maid opened the door, she gasped in surprise at the sight of Roel lying on the bed.
“Madam… are you feeling unwell? Should I call the doctor?”
Roel’s cheeks flushed at the realization of the rebellion she had caused in her usually mild-mannered husband. She had been too demanding of him, and Kyden, having accumulated much in the way of pent-up emotions, hadn’t easily let her go.
Embarrassed to reveal what had happened last night and unable to get out of bed, Roel shook her head weakly.
“I’m fine.”
“Can you manage to eat? Would you like me to feed you?”
“Just place it beside the bed…”
“You’re so frail… what to do?”
As Roel pulled back the blanket to sit up, her flushed neck, marked with marks, became visible. But that wasn’t all.
Her puffy eyes and lips, the groans that accompanied her every movement as if suffering from muscle pain, the hands that patted her waist, and her hoarse voice all revealed the intensity of the previous night.
“Oh my! You’re feeling quite hot! You must be enjoying yourself, Madam.”
The women of the estate always became flustered whenever they encountered the intimate lives of the lord and lady. Given her petite frame, they wondered how Roel managed to keep up with the lord’s impressive stamina. Their feelings were a mix of 20% pity and 80% envy.
‘How embarrassing!’
Though the passionate life of the couple was an open secret, Roel’s face always burned with shame.
“Just… leave me alone.”
“Yes, don’t worry about the banquet preparations. We’ll take care of everything; you just focus on resting!”
“…Please don’t tell anyone else.”
“What are you talking about? I know nothing!”
The maid, who had been grinning, waved her hands dismissively as she left the room.
Alone, Roel sighed heavily and picked up a glass of water from the tray. Her throat ached from all the groaning.
It had been a long time since she had spent an entire day like this. Back at the cabin, when they reunited in the capital, and on their first night as a married couple—those were the only times she could remember feeling this way.
‘It feels so strange to be like this again…’
Roel rubbed her flushed cheeks, feeling both embarrassed and exhilarated.
Seeing Kyden rush toward her like a wild beast stirred the youthful, passionate feelings she had momentarily forgotten. It also prompted some self-reflection. She realized that her fixation on the duty of having a child had led her to inadvertently torment him.
Memories of their earlier conversation after a long affair came rushing back.
“Roel, it’s okay if we don’t have a child. Don’t be anxious.”
“But they say that every couple should have children. If there are no kids, the bond can weaken…”
“Whether we have kids or not, our relationship won’t change. I’m happy just being with you.”
“Are you really okay with that?”
“If you’re okay, then I’m okay.”
Despite his warm words, she couldn’t shake off her lingering feelings.
“I… I really wish we could have a child.”
“Give me that nasty-smelling potion. I’ll take another bucket full.”
“You don’t need to drink that much!”
“Instead, if it still doesn’t happen… let it go. I don’t want to miss out on moments of happiness because we’re fixated on having a child.”
His words struck a chord. She had firmly believed that having a child would bring her happiness and that he would feel the same way.
But that didn’t seem to be the case. Kyden remained steadfastly supportive, while her own feelings seemed to drift elsewhere.
In the past, she had thought that just being with him was enough.
However, at some point, she became absorbed in the role of a wife and developed an obsession with having a child. She feared she wasn’t fulfilling her role, worried that their relationship might become distant one day, and longed to create the ideal family.
With all these reasons swirling in her mind, she felt restless. The thought of being fixated on having a child and potentially missing out on nearby happiness stung her heart, leaving her feeling inexplicably downcast.
‘I shouldn’t be anxious like Kyden said. Worrying won’t solve anything.’
Roel sighed deeply and got out of bed.
After much contemplation, she decided to remove the lizard tail and the foul-smelling perfume that she had kept by the bedside. She discarded the unpleasant potion, the fertility talisman hidden under the bed, and the baby statue that had been placed atop the cupboard.
Even after all these efforts, if she didn’t have a child, perhaps… Roel quickly wiped away tears that had begun to well up.
She realized that she didn’t want to lose the happiness she could have right now by being greedy for something unattainable.
After waiting so long, it felt like it was time to let go of her anxieties.
* * *
Finally, Kyden’s birthday was approaching.
“Are you feeling unwell?”
As soon as Kyden’s mother, Lady Lorraine, saw Roel’s face, she asked in surprise. It was clear that Roel looked more haggard than usual.
