Towards the Winter Cabin of Serenity and Madness, Cinderella Runs - Chapter 30
Unaware of the attention he was drawing, Kyden eagerly roamed the market. He was just excited by the thought of Roel being happy with his shopping haul.
At one stall, where women’s ornaments were sold, he found himself stopping to look. It was something he wouldn’t usually do, to be intrigued by the items on display.
The stall owner asked as he saw Kyden browsing.
“Looking for a gift?”
“…Hmm. Wonder what she would like.”
“Everything here is popular. These hairpins and bracelets are well-liked. Giving something like this would thrill anyone. I wooed my wife with these!”
Persuaded by the seller, Kyden ended up buying a hairpin and a bracelet for a considerable price. Purchasing the ornaments made him conscious of Roel’s thin and worn winter clothes.
After buying her clothes, her exposed white nape caught his mind. He eventually bought a fur scarf as well. Leaving the market, he felt as proud as if he had succeeded in a hunt.
‘Should I visit?’
Having bought everything, he thought of Roel’s relatives’ house. She was so averse to the idea, he wondered whether he should bother visiting.
The day was far spent, and if he lingered further he would return to the cabin after dark.
* * *
After Kyden left, Roel felt desolate and layered up her clothes.
She had her last supper with the leftover soup from the morning and stole his fur gloves and hat.
“I’m sorry, really sorry.”
She was overwhelmed with guilt, harboring only apologies for him. Though she had resented him for merely wanting her body, all old grievances were resolved the previous night. His kindness and warmth were too precious to hate.
After cleaning the cabin and tidying up the bedding, she prepared an early dinner. So that he could eat as soon as he returned, using the last of their supplies to make soup. Cleaning and cooking felt insufficient as a repayment for his hospitality. But she stayed busy until the end.
She erased all traces of herself. Then she wrote a note and left it on the dining table, in case he looked for her or got worried.
[Leaving. Far away. Don’t look for me. Thank you.]
Unable to fully express her feelings in writing due to not having learned much about writing after her father’s death, Roel hoped her intentions would at least be correctly understood. That alone would be enough for her.
Throughout her preparations to leave, she wavered. Was it right to leave this way? Could she leave without saying a word? He might understand her. Maybe she should just talk to him honestly? Her lack of confidence in crossing the mountains and his warmth and consideration made her heart weak.
Yet, what ultimately drove her out of the cabin were those who had tormented her over the past few years. Showering her with disregard, contempt, and criticism.
Those terrible memories eroded Roel’s soul, led her to distrust herself, and made her fear others. They convinced her that she didn’t deserve to stay in a warm place and that she was too insignificant to receive someone’s affection.
Roel left on her own accord, afraid that he would discover her flaws, that he might abandon her, that he could denounce her, or that he might encounter Roniti.
In the end, they had succeeded in pushing Roel off the cliff.
Roel climbed the mountain. The higher she went, the more her feet sank into the snow, which now reached her thighs. Kyden had said it was possible to go down to the village, but it was not true for her; each step was a struggle.
A few days ago, she had casually asked Kyden about the way to the village beyond the mountains.
He suggested that for first-timers, it was best to follow the merchant’s mountain path. It winds around the lower ridges but is the safest route.
Kyden had advised that if she kept walking towards where the sun sets, she would find the path leading to the lower ridges. All she needed to do was follow that path.
However, in the midst of winter, it wouldn’t be easy since the trail used by carts would be hidden under the snow. He sternly warned her not to even dream of going alone, as the snow could trap her, leading to freezing to death, or she might encounter hungry predators in the midst of winter.
Indeed, Kyden was right.
Climbing the mountain in winter was no simple feat. The cold made her jaw tremble uncontrollably, yet sweat chilled her skin. Once the sweat cooled, a biting cold clung to her flesh. It made her face feel as though it was being torn each time the wind blew.
She lost track of time of how long she had walked. Her vision blurred and numbness took over her hands and feet.
The deep forest, thick with ancient trees, blocked any warm sunlight. She was exhausted and the cold slowed her pace even further.
‘I can’t see the path; I must have lost it…’
She wondered if there was any hope if the weather had been slightly warmer. Despair and resignation came more readily than the will to survive. Perhaps because she saw no chance for her life to improve.
Would moving to another village in such a desperate manner allow her to adapt well? Or would she be driven away as a strange outsider?
Roel collapsed onto the snow. Unbeknownst to her, the day had passed, and darkness fell in the forest. The wind grew fiercer and the cold penetrated to her bones.
