Villain, Let Me Touch You! - Chapter 4
He was beautiful despite having dark circles from lack of sleep, chapped lips, and a haggard face. It would be amazing to have him back in good health.
My will to cure him of his illness surged. Even if I had to die, I would die seeing my bias’s face bloom like a flower. It was a determined and noble will.
“What are you looking at?” At his prickly question, I quickly averted my gaze. “You even drooled in your sleep? That’s really disgusting.”
I hurriedly wiped around my lips with the back of my hand. I didn’t drool in my sleep, I drooled because I was impressed by his face. But saying that would probably make him more disgusted, right? I quietly closed my mouth.
“You won’t leave my palace at all?”
He asked about my intentions. He had a lot of questions today.
“No, I won’t take a single step outside,” I immediately answered and tightly shut my eyes.
I waited for retaliation, whether he thundered aloud—although he probably couldn’t muster much strength for a loud noise—or called for a soldier.
But what came out of his mouth was unexpected.
“Fine.”
“Huh? Your Highness, what did you just say…?” Before I could finish my question, the door slammed shut.
In a daze, I recounted what had happened with Helios. He didn’t slit my wrists when I touched him, and he left me alone when I disobeyed his order to leave. He even gave me permission to stay.
Wasn’t this like the cat from the streets who refused to be treated, who walked through the vet’s door on his own?
My eyes sparkled.
Maybe I can survive after all?
***
…But the door to Helios’s room never opened for me, which rendered all my wishful thinking moot.
Numerous visitors came and went, but people looked straight through me as if I were invisible. Despite waving at people whose faces I recognized from the past five days and trying to make eye contact, I was ignored at every turn.
Do they treat everyone like wallpaper?
Blatant ostracization…
Suddenly, I recalled a story about a despondent office worker who returned to work after parental leave, only to find her desk relocated down the hallway. Her coworkers didn’t even say hello.
I remember seeing that news from my hospital bed and foolishly thinking, “I wouldn’t mind being bullied like that if it meant going back to work.”
But experiencing it now feels absolutely awful. That person must have felt incredibly lonely.
If I were there, I would have offered them some comfort. People truly understand only when they experience it themselves. The more you know, the more you can empathize.
That’s why I couldn’t give up on Helios. Because I’ve lived on borrowed time, suffered, and pinned my hopes on useless treatments, trying to give up numerous times and failing.
“I know I can do it…”
I threw my head back and gazed at the ornate patterns on the bustling palace corridor ceiling, filled with determination to research and treat his illness. I vowed to stand by his lonely side, at least until he is well.
“Confidence!” I muttered to myself.
At that moment, I sensed someone approaching.
“You’re still here?” Jamie asked as she emerged from Helios’s room.
“Jamie!” Overjoyed, I nearly shouted, catching myself just in time.
Quickly, I blew a puff of air into my palm and sniffed. It was the first time I had opened my mouth since meeting Helios in the morning. There might have been a hint of bad breath. Thankfully, there wasn’t.
Jamie gave me a stern look. I welcomed the sympathetic gaze, hoping for even more empathy. I wished she could persuade Helios to let me in.
I clasped my hands together in front of my chest, and she arched an eyebrow.
“Even if you look at me like that, there’s nothing I can do.”
“Ah, is that so?” I swiftly changed my expression, resuming my distracted inspection of the wallpaper patterns.
“Still, I can get you something to eat. How about some water?”
“I can’t eat.” I shook my head slightly.
“Aren’t you hungry? You haven’t eaten anything since last night.”
Right. I hadn’t eaten for 24 hours, and I wasn’t even on a diet. Frankly, I felt dizzy, my stomach was growling, and every time the aroma of food wafted by, I felt like begging for even a morsel.
Yet, I refused to eat. “I don’t need it.”
I stomped on the thought of having just a sip of water and everything would be fine.
“Are you on a hunger strike?”
“Me? A hunger strike? Would that even work?”
Hunger strikes are something someone well-liked and beloved might resort to. Threatening to starve yourself only works for people who love you. It was pointless in front of Helios, who wouldn’t care whether I starved or not.
“Why won’t you eat then?” Jamie seemed genuinely confused.
Sigh, do I really have to explain this too?
I was a little embarrassed, but I was also excited to talk after so long, so I gingerly gestured toward Jamie. Her eyes darted around, and she crouched down. I pulled my hair out of my face and straightened up.
Then I whispered in her ear, “You have to eat to… well, to go to the bathroom.”
One can endure hunger, but signals from the body cannot be ignored.
I chose the most efficient way to keep Helios’s attention, that’s all.
