Violet Zerotta's Hasty Marriage - Chapter 37
Until now, she had believed that she and Aldrick stood on equal footing. He had been a commoner knight without a title or wealth, and she had been the illegitimate daughter of a noble, raised in poverty, nothing to boast about, but nothing to be ashamed of either.
More than that, Violet had believed that Aldrick needed her. She was convinced that, because he had lived a life knowing only the sword, there was something childlike and naive about him. That was why she had wanted to stay by his side and protect him.
But in reality, it turned out that Aldrick was someone who could have lived just fine without her. No. He was someone who could have met a woman far better than her.
Countess Lambert, for example, was the daughter of a Marquis. Now that Aldrick was to become a count and a lord, if not for their hasty marriage, he might have met someone from a background like hers.
Violet disliked self-deprecating thoughts, but the deep-rooted inferiority complex that had taken hold of her since arriving in the capital surfaced once again.
Perhaps thinking he had tormented her enough during the day, Aldrick didn’t touch her that night. Instead, he held her gently in his arms and quietly fell asleep.
Even though she could feel his warmth right behind her, Violet felt a flicker of unease.
Maybe this spot I’m lying in doesn’t belong to me.
A suspicion with no clear origin gripped her heart.
And that thought remained with Violet until the day she left the capital—it never left her side.
***
Violet’s belief that she wasn’t suited to be Aldrick’s bride only deepened the longer they stayed in the capital.
The day after arriving, Violet was taken by the Countess to begin preparations for the title conferment ball.
Aldrick had his own business at the royal palace, so for the first time since leaving Saint-Lour, the two spent time apart.
That too added to Violet’s unease. Left alone in a strange environment, she could feel her nerves becoming increasingly sensitive.
Wherever she went with the Countess—dressmakers, restaurants for lunch—Violet saw nothing but elegant and beautiful noble ladies.
And as she saw them, she found herself, without even realizing, scanning their faces to decide which of them would better suit Aldrick, and was horrified to catch herself doing so.
It was a thought harmful to both Aldrick and herself.
Violet resolved to be more confident. On paper, they were already husband and wife—a fact that would remain unless they divorced. With that, she managed to just barely gather up her shaken composure.
But it was still difficult to be truly confident. Violet had never paid much attention to her appearance before, but since coming to the capital, she had become increasingly self-conscious under the eyes of others.
Thanks to the Countess’s introduction, Violet had already had five dresses custom-made.
She didn’t understand why so many were needed just to attend the ball. She had vaguely thought one would be enough.
But even the gentle Countess Lambert refused to compromise when it came to dresses.
“This year’s conferment ball is also the celebration for the war victory, so the festival will last three days and nights. Sir Winter is practically the star of the event—there’s no way Lady Winter could wear the same dress the whole time. Honestly, I think five might not even be enough!”
Violet had almost been swayed into ordering more, but thankfully changed her mind at the last moment.
Once she returned to the territory, there would be no need for such extravagant dresses, and it was rare for a provincial lord to visit the capital with his wife in tow.
Having never spent money so freely in her life, Violet felt an overwhelming unfamiliarity.
But it wasn’t all unpleasant.
Surrounded by beautiful satin dresses, silk shoes, expensive hairpieces, fragrant teas, and sweet desserts—it all felt like a dream.
And yet, somehow, Violet couldn’t feel purely happy, which left her bewildered.
She had always resented poverty and longed for wealth. Now she was enjoying things a commoner might never experience in a lifetime, and still… she couldn’t be sure if she was truly happy.
