Welcome to the Rose Mansion - Chapter 44
“That’s truly unfortunate.”
“The situation was so bad we couldn’t even hire a lawyer to secure my inheritance rights. There was no separate trust left for me. Eventually, our family was left destitute… and that’s when the conflicts with my mother began. She wanted to maintain her wealthy lifestyle, but it was impossible.”
“What did you do, Miss Howard?”
“What could I do for the mother I loved? I cried and begged. I tried to find ways to earn more money, even if it meant sleeping less.”
Richelle swallowed dryly.
“Sometimes, I even thought about selling myself off to a wealthy family, just as my mother wished.”
It was the first time she had ever spoken about this. Not even her closest friend, Margaret, nor the adult she trusted the most, her mentor, knew about this.
As she told her story, Rogéros’s gaze darkened.
“Miss Howard.”
“Of course, I quickly abandoned such thoughts. Instead, I started to avoid talking to my mother.”
“…”
“Avoiding, ignoring, running away, and eventually ending up here in Bertrand. I consoled myself that it was the best way to maintain a relationship with my mother. In reality, I just chose the easiest path.”
Voicing it out made the self-loathing inside her surge even more. A bitter taste lingered on her tongue.
“Right, I was always busy protecting my own peace. Not just with my mother, but whenever any difficult problem arose, always.”
Whenever there was trouble, she fled. Whenever there was conflict, she turned away. She always chose the path that wouldn’t lead to significant changes in her life.
Claiming to prioritize safety or being a pacifist was just a way to deceive herself. In truth, she was just afraid to confront problems and get hurt.
Yes, even with Alan Otis, I ran away, I did.
Richelle clenched her hands tightly together and curled up.
“Really cowardly… and pathetic.”
“Is it really ‘pathetic’, though?”
It was an unexpected response. Richelle looked up at Rogéros, who was gazing down at her thoughtfully, resting his chin in his hand.
“The world praises the courage to confront crises and conflicts head-on because it’s exceedingly rare. Not everything gets resolved by facing it head-on, and the situation could even worsen.”
“…”
“So, what does the majority do? It depends on where their focus lies.”
“…Focus?”
“People who focus on themselves.”
Rogéros tapped her forehead lightly.
“They prioritize their own well-being. When faced with a problem, they look for a way out that benefits them the most. On the other hand, people whose focus lies elsewhere…”
This time, his long, straight fingers gently pressed on the back of Richelle’s hand.
“…act solely for the sake of others, regardless of whether they get hurt or incur losses, irrationally and abnormally.”
“…”
“Of course, it’s not good to have too much focus on oneself either. There are people who believe they are the most important in the world, taking all the benefits for themselves and shifting all the responsibilities to others. And when they get a little hurt, they act as if they are the biggest victim.”
Rogéros brushed the hair that had fallen over Richelle’s face behind her ear.
“The terms ‘cowardly’ and ‘pathetic’ suit those characters, Miss Howard. Avoiding conflict and trying to minimize one’s own damage is a human instinct. In fact, I think you’re a wonderful person, Miss Howard.”
“Me, a wonderful person?”
“Reflecting on oneself and having the courage to self-examine requires as much courage as confronting conflicts head-on. Most people live by justifying themselves with ‘I had no choice’.”
His white fingers gently grazed her flushed cheeks. Rogéros smiled.
“Putting yourself first and valuing oneself is only natural. Reflecting on those natural decisions to become a better person is commendable. You’re neither cowardly nor pathetic.”
A warm tide rose in her chest, as if high waves were tapping at her eyes.
Richelle bit her lips and looked up at the sky. Her vision blurred.
It was the first time. The first time she had poured out her heart like this.
And so, she realized for the first time that she had desperately wanted to confide this anxiety to someone.
So, even just once, she wanted to hear that she wasn’t bad. That one statement seemed like it could help her walk out of the dark again.
It was embarrassing but a refreshing realization that rang through her heart that had been tightly sealed. A fresh breeze caressed the now-open hole.
It was a sensation she hadn’t felt in a very long time.
