We're Married, After All - Chapter 6
I realized what his eyes had been looking at.
I lowered my head to look down. My shirt, soaked through and now transparent, clung to my arms and shoulders, leaving everything exposed. My damp brown hair stuck to my skin, draping over my collarbone. The disheveled mess of myself reflected in those clear violet eyes was unmistakable.
Slowly, I lifted my head again to meet Danel’s gaze. A droplet of water, pooled under the umbrella, trickled down and dampened his hair. Beneath his wet bangs, Danel’s eyes wavered—
As if a crack had formed somewhere deep within him.
Raindrops brushed against his hunched shoulders. I felt his gaze moving over me, as though it were physically trailing across my body. Everywhere his eyes lingered prickled, as if I had been burned.
Unconsciously, I swallowed hard. Was it because of what had happened at dawn? Or because seeing him so shaken felt so unfamiliar? A heat began to coil in my lower abdomen. Even the wind brushing against me felt like a teasing caress.
Suddenly, Danel grabbed my hand. His touch was so unexpectedly hot that I gasped in surprise.
But that was all. He placed the umbrella firmly in my hand, then turned and began walking back the way we had come.
His retreating figure disappeared into the rain as though fleeing. I stood there, staring at the direction he had vanished, for a long while before finally heading back to the manor alone.
The sound of raindrops pattering against the umbrella made my skin prickle, as if charged with static.
As soon as I arrived at the mansion, I headed straight to the bathroom. I then spent quite a long time soaking in warm water. By the time the rain had lessened, I heard that Danel had returned and that he had quickly washed up in the smaller bathroom before shutting himself in the study. However, I didn’t feel the need to go find him.
After all, I didn’t even know what I would say to him.
Once my bath was over, I returned to the bedroom. Through the half-open window, I could hear the relentless sound of raindrops falling.
Even after lying on the bed for a long time, sleep still wouldn’t come. As expected, neither the warm bath nor the soothing sound of rain was of any help for my insomnia.
Then, suddenly, I found this situation curious. Insomnia had been my long-standing affliction. That I felt unfamiliar with this weariness after merely six months of respite seemed strange.
On the first night—on that day when I had left a mess of fluids on the sheets—my insomnia had vanished completely. After having relations just once a day as part of our routine, I would immediately be overcome with sleep.
At some point, I began to fall asleep as if fainting, often without even dreaming until morning.
Perhaps it was because I felt content.
Contrary to my mother’s and others’ assumptions, I had no particular complaints about my marriage to Danel.
I hadn’t cared from the beginning who I married. It wasn’t something I could decide, so there was no point in feeling discontent about it. What had been painful, however, were Petios’ decisions and the scandals I had to endure afterward.
Living with Danel wasn’t fun, of course, but it was certainly bearable. For one thing, the intimacy we shared was always good enough to make me lose consciousness. In fact, I had actually fainted a few times. Moreover, I had been freed from the insomnia that had plagued me my entire life. How could I dislike this marriage?
On the other hand, I had no idea how Danel felt about it.
He probably wasn’t satisfied with this marriage. I had a vague certainty about that. Unlike him, who was deeply devout, I wasn’t a believer, nor was I the kind of refined wife capable of engaging in intellectual discussions at his level.
From the start, this marriage must have been like a bolt out of the blue for him. When he left the monastery to attend his brother’s wedding, he couldn’t have imagined things would turn out this way.
That’s why I had thought… it would be enough if he simply didn’t hate me. Even when the stilted conversations, which would break off if I didn’t make an effort to continue them, and his consistent indifference suffocated me, I had believed it was right for me, who found this marriage relatively satisfying, to bear with it.
But now, I’m not so sure anymore.
Not since I saw him bury his face between my legs as if he were pleasuring himself. Not since he fled at the sight of my bare skin through the sheer fabric of my shirt. Everything I had taken for granted now felt questionable.
Was this marriage more of a burden to Danel than I had thought? Or was he more worldly than I had imagined?
