What Became of the Tyrant After the Pregnant Empress Left - Chapter 55

“Maybe I shouldn’t have let her go.”
The muttered words escaped Kazhan’s lips before he even realized it, echoing back to him from the cave walls.
‘She’s still not fully recovered.’
Kazhan glanced resentfully at the pile of dried herbs in the corner. None of the remaining ones were particularly useful for treating a lingering illness. There wasn’t much he could do for Ysaris if she stayed, so he hadn’t tried to stop her from leaving.
“…She wouldn’t have listened to me anyway.”
Lately, Ysaris had become increasingly defiant. It was likely the shift in their dynamic that caused this change; with him so badly injured, he couldn’t force anything upon her. And he wasn’t foolish enough to threaten her as a hostage when he was the one in need of help.
All he could do was let her do as she wished.
“Is this… a good thing…?”
Kazhan murmured softly, staring blankly at the ceiling of the cave.
When he thought about it, Ysaris seemed more alive now, taking the initiative, rather than when she was being dragged around like a corpse. Even if both their bodies were in shambles, did it really matter?
To be honest, Kazhan didn’t find his current situation all that bad. Spending time alone with Ysaris, caring for each other, had a certain appeal.
He was more than familiar with the excruciating pain his body endured, so the thought of being stranded like this forever didn’t seem entirely undesirable.
Maybe, in time, he could even repair his relationship with Ysaris, just a little…
“There it is again.”
Kazhan sighed heavily. Despite having given up, the nagging hope clung to him stubbornly. His subconscious refused to let go, hopelessly fixated on a fantasy that would never come true.
There was no chance that Ysaris would ever love Kazhan Tennilath. Yet, when he snapped back to reality, he found himself moving for her as if it were the most natural thing in the world.
Even though he had resolved to die by her hand if it came to that.
“…”
Kazhan pressed a hand over his heart. Every time it pounded fiercely, as if to prove he was still alive, it refused to heed his will whenever it concerned Ysaris.
It was beyond his control. It had happened before he even realized it.
Kazhan’s thoughts drifted back to the moments that had irreversibly tied him to Ysaris, the memories playing out vividly in his mind like scenes from a long-lost dream.

<Cain, you must have something you want too, right?>
<Indeed… I have found something I desire.>

That was entirely Ysaris’s fault, Kazhan thought.

<Oh, really? What is it?>
<Something I should not have.>
<There’s no such thing. Come on, tell me. I’ll help you get it.>
<…>
<Hey? You’re really not going to tell me? That’s not fair, especially after listening to all of my dreams…!>

She had given him the gift of life when he was merely existing, too stubborn to die.

<I’ve decided to follow your words.>
<Cain? What are you talking about all of a sudden?>
<You told me to do what my heart desires.>
<Oh, I did say that, didn’t I? So now you’re going to tell me what it is?>
<I will stay by your side for the rest of my life, Ysaris.>
<…!>
<After we graduate from this academy, I intend to become your knight. What I want is to be with you.>

She had painted his black-and-white world with the vibrant colors of emotion.

<It’s because of you. You make it hard for me to breathe, I can’t eat, and now I can’t even sleep.>
<Huh?>
<I warned you, didn’t I? Not to reach out to someone like me. But you ignored that and saved me.>
<What do you mean…?>
<I lied to you. What I want isn’t just to be by your side. I want…>
<…Cain, are you crying?>
<I want to have you.>

She had made it impossible for him to live without her. It was all Ysaris’s fault.
Kazhan’s hand tightened slightly over his heart. The empty space there was as large as the soft hand of Ysaris, which he had clung to whenever they were alone, hidden from the eyes of others.

His red eyes, scanning the emptiness, reflected the past. A younger Ysaris’s face turned away from him slightly.
She had always been playful, teasing him with light jokes, but when it came to answering seriously, her lips would falter. The way she tucked her hair behind her ear with a small hand, the way her eyes curled shyly, and the blush that inevitably colored her cheeks—he had loved it all.