When That Door Opens - Chapter 36
“Forgive my rudeness, Lady Astel. Please do not pardon me. I will accept my punishment tomorrow morning, once you have calmed down.”
He forcibly placed the bracelet back into my hand and walked past me. I managed to exhale, feeling that letting him go now would mean the end of everything. I quickly turned and grabbed his arm.
“Don’t go. I haven’t finished speaking.”
“……”
“Don’t go! Why won’t you accept what I’m giving you? Are you really going to live and die as a slave?”
“I told you not to concern yourself with that.”
“No! I have to concern myself. Explain properly. I have the right to hear your explanation. I am the Astel of Schultz!”
I was desperate enough to use my authority as an excuse to stop him. He avoided my gaze and stared into the void. I could see a storm of emotions swirling in his pale blue eyes.
I stood firmly in his way. His resentment felt like sharp thorns piercing me. Still, I did not move. I was that desperate.
“…Because I do not want to become a bug.”
“What?”
After a moment, he slowly opened his eyes. Then, with reddened eyes, he whispered to me.
“It is true that I once lived a life worse than a bug. It was for survival, but that does not excuse it. Nonetheless, I no longer wish to live that way.”
“……”
“So, I will not accept anything you give me, Lady Astel. Even the lowest of men have something they want to protect.”
“……Ah.”
I barely swallowed a sigh.
Perhaps because I had spent so long thinking about this person’s feelings, I finally saw the sincerity I had overlooked.
This person must have been alone for a very long time. My reaching out to him must have felt very special. And what had I done to him?
I shattered his heart into pieces.
Unable to bear looking at him, I lowered my head. I couldn’t make a single excuse.
Even so, I didn’t let go of the hand that held him.
I had to take responsibility.
I would make sure to free him.
Even if it was my selfishness, I didn’t care. I wanted to live as a free bug rather than a proud slave. Pride was meaningless once you were dead.
“It sounds like you don’t want to accept my goodwill.”
“Thank you for understanding.”
“In that case, let’s make a deal.”
“What?”
“There’s something I want from you, so give it to me.”
I looked up at him directly. Fate had never been on my side. If I could thwart Roman’s plans and give this man his freedom by ruining myself, it would be a perfect ending.
“Sleep with me.”
“……!”
“I will pay you generously. This is not a request; it’s an order.”
* * *
As we exited the overgrown path, an old grayish-white building came into view. It was the slaves’ quarters, with small, ant-like windows clustered together.
He approached the door on the far left. Seeing the worn wooden door made my heart sink. Despite deciding to go through with this, I was still afraid.
“…This is the place.”
He gripped the door handle and turned slightly. His face, shadowed by the moonlight, looked terrifyingly stern. I pressed my fingernails into my fingertips and raised my chin, pretending to be unaffected.
“What are you doing? Open the door.”
“Are you really going to enter?”
“What do you mean?”
“I’m asking if you really won’t retract your order.”
“I wouldn’t have said it if I didn’t mean it.”
I deliberately spoke irritably.
“Why are you stalling? Open the door now! Do you intend to open it only after everyone has woken up? Was that the preference of the noblewomen you used to serve?”
He glared at me once, then clenched his teeth and opened the door.
With a creak, the wooden door opened.
Despite the initial impression that it might collapse at any moment, the inside was remarkably clean. I could easily imagine him diligently cleaning this worn space.
I let out a sigh of relief without realizing it. If he was the person I thought he was, at least he would treat me more gently than Roman.
At the same time, my heart ached. I couldn’t understand why.
After closing the door, he spoke sarcastically.
“It seems you’re interested because I’m a slave of noble birth.”
“…It’s rare.”
I managed to say, pressing down on my chest to hide the pain. The reason my chest hurt was now clear. It was because I knew I was hurting him with every moment.
But what could I do? Time passes, and wounds eventually become less painful. Meanwhile, the freedom he sought could only be reclaimed now or never.
