When That Door Opens - Chapter 42
I realized how lonely I had been. My past, filled with loneliness, often brought me to tears.
Though I didn’t make a sound, he had an uncanny ability to sense when I was crying. At first, he asked why a few times, but when I stayed silent, he stopped asking. Instead, he would hold me tightly without saying a word.
Watching him so concerned, I began to notice his feelings for me.
Though I held the upper hand in this relationship, he never once expressed his feelings.
So, I remained silent till the end.
Our end is predetermined.
* * *
“In one month, the Grand Duke will return. The state marriage should be on the day of his return. There’s no need to delay such a joyous event.”
The Chairman of the Elder Council beamed at me. His triumphant expression seemed to declare victory.
I silently placed the letter in the envelope.
“As always, the will of the gods is indeed mysterious. The union of Astel and the Schultz royalty. Haha!”
I had intended to remain silent about the oracle until Roman returned. If these events were inevitable, I wanted to live as I pleased until the end.
However, Roman couldn’t tolerate my silence and sent a letter to the Chairman. The letter urged me to hasten the state marriage.
“You are correct.”
I finally accepted my future. Gasps of admiration echoed throughout the audience chamber. Everyone was excited, saying that Schultz would prosper once Roman and I married.
None of these enthusiastic people mentioned that Roman was twenty years older than me, that he had a terrible disposition, and that over ten concubines and wives had died or been maimed because of it.
“I leave the preparations for the state marriage to you. But I have an order for everyone here before that.”
“Please, command us.”
“For the time being, do not speak of the oracle. I fear the divine will may be tainted by the words of the people.”
“It shall be done.”
After everyone left the audience chamber, I finally stood up. Gritting my teeth, I made my way to my room.
With trembling hands, I opened the last drawer of my dresser. The handkerchief I had given him long ago was rolled up like a ball.
Unfolding the handkerchief revealed a pile of unmarked jewelry. This was the price I had promised him on the night we first came together.
Despite having had many opportunities, I never gave it to him. Handing over the jewelry felt like it would trample all our memories.
Though we never discussed it, I knew Lakian felt the same. That’s why he never asked me about the payment.
He loves me.
“Haha.”
Laughter kept bubbling up. At some point, laughter and tears came together.
I love you too.
So I’ll give you freedom.
The freedom I can never have.
* * *
“You want me to leave immediately? So suddenly?”
“Yes. Leave the capital as soon as possible.”
Lakian, who had been waiting for me as usual, looked down at me, speechless.
Having sorted out my emotions, I calmly placed the handkerchief in his hand.
“It’s late, but here’s the reward I promised.”
With those words, I turned away.
“Noonim!”
But before I could take a few steps, he grabbed me. Turning back, I looked up at him indifferently. His deep blue eyes blazed like fire.
“Why are you doing this to me all of a sudden? Don’t I deserve an explanation?”
“There is no reason. There wasn’t much reason when I first sought you out, so there’s no need for one now that we’re parting.”
“Noonim!”
“I wanted to sleep with you, so I suggested it. When we did, I liked it more than I thought, so I kept coming back. Now I don’t have any reason to, so I’m giving you the payment I owe.”
“Payment?”
“Yes.”
He looked at the handkerchief filled with jewelry in disbelief. Then, clenching it tightly, he spoke through gritted teeth.
“Do you think I slept with you for this payment?”
“It doesn’t matter anymore why you did. I won’t be seeing you again.”
“Noonim!”
“Stop. I’m leaving.”
“What exactly are you afraid of?”
I paused. He was staring intently at me. His eyes were as dark as a night without the moon.
“What are you afraid of?”
“I’m not afraid of anything.”
“No, you are. That’s why you came to me. That’s why you asked to sleep with me! Using ridiculous excuses like payment and all that!”
“Lakian.”
“Tell me the truth. What are you so afraid of? Why are you forcing us to part? I love you. Didn’t you love me too?”
“That was all…”
“Stop with the nonsense about it being a misunderstanding! I wouldn’t believe it anyway. Do you think I don’t know your heart?”
He shouted fiercely. It was clear he wouldn’t let me go until he got a proper answer. I realized I couldn’t lie to him anymore.
