When That Door Opens - Chapter 46
I straightened my back and wiped away my tears. Then, looking at him expressionlessly, I spoke.
“Grand Duke, it is true that this man violated me, Astel.”
At first, Lakian’s face showed he didn’t understand my words. I forced myself to speak with all my strength.
“He snuck into my bedroom at night and forcibly embraced me. Just looking at that devilish face makes me nauseous. I’ll leave his punishment to you, Grand Duke.”
I didn’t take my eyes off his face, marred with shock, betrayal, and pain.
I must not forget that face until the day I die. Until the very last moment, I must remember my sin.
“Grand Duke, we should return. Please escort me.”
“At your service.”
Roman kissed the back of my hand and wrapped his arm around my waist, as if to show off. I used all my strength to take one step at a time. Just walking and pretending to be fine was exhausting.
I barely managed to keep my legs steady as I exited the audience chamber. As soon as the door closed, I collapsed. Seeing me fall, Roman beamed.
“My, it seems you’ve lost strength in your legs after such a rough ordeal. Please allow me the honor of carrying you, Lady Astel.”
“Thank you.”
Roman approached to pick me up. As I wrapped my arms around his neck, I whispered through gritted teeth.
“You’d better keep your promise. If he dies, I will never stay silent.”
Roman let out a derisive laugh.
“Don’t worry. I’ll keep him alive.”
With those words, I lost consciousness.
* * *
After that, I lost track of time. I drifted in and out of consciousness repeatedly. The sweetest and most horrific dreams visited me in succession.
In the first dream, I was an ordinary person. Not Astel’s sister, not a fake Astel. Just one of the countless women in the world.
He, too, was utterly ordinary. Neither a pompous noble nor a tragic slave. Just one of the many men.
And yet, we were special to each other. We were lovers.
I did everything with him that ordinary lovers would do.
The dream was so sweet that each time I woke to the wretched reality, I wept.
When I cried myself to sleep, nightmares would eagerly await me. In these dreams, he was being tortured and dying.
Even in the dream, I turned away from him. Roman’s soldiers beat him with clubs. He screamed in agony. And as I watched, I laughed heartily.
Eventually, he couldn’t take it anymore and began blurting hateful words towards me.
‘Everything is your fault! You ruined my life! Why did you approach me?’
The nightmare always ended with his death.
Immediately after waking from the nightmare, my condition worsened. I couldn’t breathe properly due to convulsions.
Doctors brought by Roman tried desperately to save me, but my condition deteriorated with each passing day.
“Why is she still in this state?! What have you all been doing!”
Roman rushed over upon hearing the news. He burst out in anger upon seeing my emaciated form.
“You crazy b*tch! Get a grip. Do you really plan to die like this? Shouldn’t you at least think about the baby in your belly?”
I looked up at Roman blankly. It felt strange. The baby in my belly was important, of course. But why was it that I felt no emotion?
That side of me was so unfamiliar. Do I lack maternal love?
At that moment, the doctor who had been treating me cautiously spoke up.
“Your Grace, the pregnancy is…”
“Shut your mouth!”
Roman suddenly roared. The doctor flinched in surprise. I stared directly at the doctor. As soon as our eyes met, he looked away as if he had committed a grave mistake.
Roman started yelling again. Ignoring his fury, I murmured to myself.
“So, I wasn’t pregnant after all.”
Roman’s eyes widened. Sensing the truth, I turned over and chuckled, placing my hand on my flat stomach.
Why did Roman do such a thing? Was it to make me feel more miserable? Or was it to keep me alive by giving me a reason to stay alive?
Well, does the reason matter?
Somehow, I seemed to have anticipated this situation. I closed my eyes and took a slow breath.
As I thought, there was no one in my belly.
I felt relieved. I wouldn’t have been able to properly raise a child in this state. Surely, I would have become the worst mother.
Even as I thought that, I felt sad.
‘There’s nothing left for me…’
“Yes. I deceived you. Isn’t it rather fortunate that it wasn’t born? Do you think that child would have grown up well? Everyone would have condemned that child. They would have thrown stones at the devil’s offspring!”
“Use this time to pray, Your Grace.”
“What?”
“If you want to live, just hope that person is still alive.”
I slowly got up and looked Roman straight in the eye.
“I have nothing left now. The only reason I’m still alive is to meet him and beg for his forgiveness. What do you think I’ll do if I hear that he’s dead?”
“……!”
