The Sub Male Lead is Burning with Jealousy - Chapter 5 Part 3
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“…Don’t come to the Empress’s Palace?”
“It’s not that she’s literally saying you shouldn’t come at all. It’s just that seeing Your Majesty’s face right now might be distressing for her.”
It’s been quite a while… actually, a few days had passed. On the day itself, it felt as though his heart was being torn apart by Anais’s reaction, but as time passed, he gradually began to wonder what he had done so wrong.
He wondered why Anais couldn’t understand his feelings, but he realized it was he who had pulled back at a moment that seemed promising.
‘I had no idea!’
Only after Sion explained did he understand that he had severed even the slightest possibility. Had he not kissed her at that moment, it might have ended with Anais feeling just a bit awkward.
And she would have still treated him kindly. However, Rahil, out of his own greed, stole her first kiss and then denied his feelings when he got scared.
“Is that something to be so hurt about?”
“Imagine a bride who, after smiling brightly and accepting a proposal, says on the wedding night that she likes another man and therefore cannot be intimate with you?”
“What? That’s—”
“That’s what you did, Your Majesty. I took the liberty of paraphrasing.”
Rahil pondered Sion’s retort, seeing it as a somewhat different but similar issue.
“Still, I didn’t go that far…”
“The Empress only asked for one thing, and yet you took even that from her.”
“Anais and I…!”
Rahil’s voice began to rise, prompting Sion to dismiss the other servants in the room. It was a matter between the Emperor and the Empress, after all. Having many ears around would not be beneficial.
“…We made a contract! Don’t you know how many demands she made?!”
“Your Majesty forced her into marriage for another woman. Please consider what marriage means in a woman’s life.”
“I got married too.”
“But you married the person you wanted.”
Rahil’s face turned contemplative at the unspoken words, ‘Her Majesty the Empress did not.’ During the honeymoon, he was preoccupied with her fainting incident and returned to the capital as she wished, but now he anticipated the social circles buzzing about this.
“Do I really need to write a letter?”
“There’s also the option of simply coexisting with Her Majesty the Empress as strangers. Given that you allowed her to take five consorts, I suppose we’ll be seeing the first one before the year’s end.”
“Bring me paper and a pen right away.”
The mere thought of another man beside Anais ignited a surge of jealousy within Rahil. How could she consider someone else when I am here?
But their relationship had soured, and a heartbroken Anais could have decided to take a consort earlier than initially planned. Rahil recognized he had no power to stop this from happening.
According to the laws of the imperial family, the Emperor’s consent was required for such matters, but Anais had cleverly drafted a contract allowing her to proceed without Rahil’s approval. In essence, she could choose a consort and simply inform Rahil.
‘How can I let it be!’
Since Sion brought paper and a pen, Rahil began to ponder over the words to write. After he filled the paper with sentences that circled around an apology, Sion, reading over his shoulder, suggested he rewrite it.
“A clumsy lie is worse than not lying at all, Your Majesty.”
“Do you not know that reading someone else’s letter is against etiquette?”
“If this letter ends up making Her Majesty despise you even more, won’t you blame me? As I’ve mentioned before, apologies should not be about asserting one’s pride.”
If it were someone close to the Emperor, they would have accepted his somewhat prideful manner of apologizing as inevitable. It’s only in matters concerning Anais that he acts differently, momentarily forgetting his usual self; inherently, he was someone who disliked apologizing.
“Isn’t being completely open from the start… too lame?”
“Lying makes you look despicable. It’s better to be seen as lame than despicable.”
Sion had harsher words in mind but remembered Rahil was the emperor. With a grimace, Rahil started rewriting the letter. Despite feeling flushed with embarrassment, his feelings for Anais were sincere.
‘To think I’ve come to like her. To admit it.’
Since meeting Anais, he hardly thought of Angelica unless someone mentioned her. Even thinking of her and Theodore didn’t hurt anymore.
He was troubled by how easily his feelings seemed to wash away. He had thought loving Angelica was natural, but now things were different.
Yet, Angelica wasn’t insignificant to him. She was still Rahil’s friend and Theodore’s wife. The flutter of excitement wasn’t gone, but it was fading.
‘Is it okay for my heart to be this light? What if my heart wavers again for another woman even after I’ve fallen for Anais?’
Even though he thought as such, he actually knew the answer. He can’t let go of Anais. His situation with Angelica, whom he had sent to Theodore, was different. With Angelica he was able to let go and did what needed to be done, but he can’t do that with Anais.
Just the thought of being disliked by her was suffocating. All he wanted was to visit her in her palace.
‘…Is this how I should write it?’
“May I read it, Your Majesty?”
Rahil nodded and stepped aside, allowing Sion to carefully read the letter, ensuring the ink didn’t smudge.
“Indeed, Your Majesty. You should continue writing like this.”
“Continue?”
Rahil’s eyes widened, and Sion replied as if it were obvious.
“A single letter won’t change a woman’s heart, will it?”
****
Roses filled the room and hallway. Anais frowned upon realizing they were from Rahil. Mary, noticing Anais’s expression, mentioned that a letter had also arrived.
‘A letter?’
Seeing the unexpected act, it seemed Sion had suggested it. Rahil lacked such cunning. Contemplating whether to burn the letter by candlelight, Anais dismissed her maids and sat down.
